Salam to everyone.

meri problem ye hai k meri engagement hui thi ek ladki k sath she was the daughter of my fathers friend. I was 12 when they decided it and i knew it from that day and also she knew it. But  during past 5 years i never talked to her coz i am very shy and i loved her a lot actually i still love. When i finally start to talking with her i realize that she slept with guys yes not one but many guys. Main usse behad chahta tha mene nae dekha uska past use kaha jo hua so hua bas aenda mera aetbaar mat tootne dena  or usne mujhse moafi bhi manghi. Lekin iske doraan wo phir b un lardhkun  ke sath phir gae or pata chala mujhe jabh unhi ladhkun ne ye baat phelai to mere so called dost tane marne laghe, mene mangni todh dhi. 

Now after 2 years im engaged with my cousin she is in pk or mere sare rishtedar bohat kush hain mene usse kabhi kabhar baat b karta hun lekin itni ziada nahi kiunk pk mahol kuch or hai.Lekin dil main ek dar sa rehta k kahin ye b uski tarah to nahi? phir ko samjhata huun k wo esi nahi bohat zayada acchi hai sabh uske bareacchi batein karte hain. Or inshallah is july main meri shadi hone wali uske sath lekin dil main yehi dar  rehta hai kahin phir dokha na ho mujhse kain phir wohi situation na create ho jae mujhe dar sa lagta shadi se what cani do ???