My Problems: How Can I Change My Self?

As salam o Alaikum to all.

veer bro ap nay kaha k may yaha har masla share kar skta ho to aj may wo sab bayan kar raha ho jo kbhi nahi kar saka aur jiski waja say may hamesha tens raha ho har wakt sochta rehta ho specially Dr sahab say guzarish hay k mujhy reply zaror kary. agar post ziada taweel hojy to maf kejyay ga mujy andaza nahi kitne lambi psot kar sakty hay ap ko lagy k ziada lambi hay to ap jitne chay delete kar sakty hay baki may next post may likh doga.

masla bayan karny say pahly kuch apna background bata deta ho.

hum 7 bhai hay koi behan nahi hay father ki death ko almost 7 years hogy mamo k sat rehty hay jo k bht he achy hay death k bab say alhamdulillah hum bhaio nay family ko suport kia ( mamo nay bhi ) may or mujh say bara bhai dono dubai may job karty hay may 2nd # par ho bhaio may 2 saal pahly eng hue the feb 2008 may nikah hua 14 october ko shadi hay mere or bary bhai ki.

1. mere family or aksar logo k hisab say may jazbate, gussy ka teez, bewakof, jald bazi may bager mashwary k fesly karny wala, har kisi ki bat par ankh band kar k yaqen karny wala, koi hamdarde k 2 bol bolay to ankh band kar k us ko sab say acha samjh lena or apni life ki pore dastan suna dena us ka hojana jab tak wo khud pecha nahi churwa leta, kisi k sath acha bano to bht acha bura bano to bht bura, bager sochy smjhy har bat har kisi k samny boldena, business may bhi jazbat may a k samny waly ki bato par yaqen kar k sab kuch day dena bager kisi proper documantation k, nukasan par suksan uthana magar kuch sekhna nahi, har kam may jaldi karna  ya sab khamia hay mujh may aisa sab kahty hay jo k kafe had tak sahi bhi hay.

2.   3 saal pahly dubai aya tha to alhamdulillah ache job lag gay real estate company main khud set ho k baray bhai, cousins wagera ko bhi bulaya or har mumkin help ki nahi bhi tha to kisi say lay k ki sab chez may jo dost yaha banay un sab ko bhi khuly dil say faida pochaya magar aj may aise jaga khara ho k koi mujh say bat karna pasand nahi karta bajay is k kay log mery pechy bhagay may logo k pechy bhagta ho bht ziada nuksanata utha chuka ho apni sare kamai jazbat may a k nuksanat may laga de hay jis jis ko dost banaya sab nay faida utha k chor dia even cousins tak nay aj koi mera phone nahi uthata jin logo say apny pesy leny hay wo ulta galia dety hay jin ko deny hay wo bhi galia dety hay may bilkul akela ho ( family bht ache hay har tarha ki support karte hay magar wo bhi har wakt mere khamia ginwaty hay) kuch smjh nahi ata kia karo may nay ya sab apni taraf say insaniat, sachai, dsoti, rishtey  ( aisa may sochta ho ) ko samjh k kia magar mujhy hamesha double cross kia gya or har koi faida utha k bhi mujy galat smjhta hay. sab kahty hay k may bewakof ho aj kal ka jo nafsanafse ka dor hay mujhy bhi is hisab say chalna chayay aisa bano k may nahi log mery pechy bhagy magar may thak gya ho bht kosis ki khud ko change karny ki magar nahi kar saka.

ab 14 october ko mere shadi hay bht kam time hay may kesy khud ko recover karo alhamdulillah kam acha hay magar may apni in khamio ki waja say bht pechy reh gya mujh say bht bad may any waly bhi bht agay chaly gay ( aksar mere gardan par pao rakh kar ) sab mujhy he dantay hay baty sunaty hay k khud ko change karo kesy karo even wo log jin ko may nay hamesha faida pochaya khud kuch hasil nahi kia wo bhi mujhy he galat kahty hay.

abhi bhi bht kuch hay kahny ko magar aur himmat nahi hay may soch soch k thak gya ho har wakt yahe sochy rehte hay dimag may plz mujhy batayay k may kia karo. Dr sahab mere bare arzo hay k ap mujhy is masly may guide kary chahay ap say milna pary, phone par ya kesy bhi but may in sab chezo say chutkara pana chata ho next week pak jara ho shadi k liy to waha ap say phone par bat ho saky ge Inshallah.

Allah Hafiz 

awais..

ap apne lye kuch asool bana lain... aur unhe follow karne ki koshish karain..

jab ap chand asoolon pe chalne ki adat dal lenge to next asool banayen,

asool.---jaise ke Dosti se ziyada ehmiyat ap apne Ghar walon ko denge

          kam dost banaye lekin ache.. dusre sab se Dosti rakhain.lekin ek limit tak.aur jo 2 ya teen kareebi Dost banayenge wo ap bohat soch samajh kar banayen.(agar koi aisa dost nahi hai to zaroori nh ke ap koi dost lazmi banayen)

apne lye ye asool banayen ke jo apse jaisa milta hai ap bhi us se ussi tarah milenge.jaise ke agar koi dost apko kabhi fone nahi karta to ap bhi na karain.apko kissi ke piche bhagne ki zaroorat nahi hai.

jo Dost apke sath mukhlis hai uske sath ap bhi mukhlis rahain.lekin ye zaroori nahi hai ke ainda ab ap apne Doston ki help karne ke lye apni har koshish karain.

apki shadi hone wali hai,yehi sara khaloos ap apni Biwi pe nichawar karain.aur ap unse apni har Problem share kar sakte hain shadi ke bad.

ap apne samne pehle hamesha apni family ko rakhain..first wo .phir dost...apki family ne apka sath hamesha dena hai chahe ap bure hain ya ache.lekin ye dost apse matlab nikalne ke bad chale jayenge

aur dusri bat ye zehan me dal lain,ke agar ap kissi ki madad karte hain,to sirf tab karain jab apko uspe 1oo%yaqeen ho,ke wo apkp paise wapis karega.warna na help karain.aur na hi khud ko mushkil me dal kar dusron ki help karne ki zaroorat hai.

wo apka istemal islye hi kar rahe hain,kyoonke ap bhi apna istemal hone dete ja rahe hain.ab ap ek full stop lagayen,..!

ap khud dekhenge ke logon ki apke bare me raye jald badal jayegi.. aur sab se important bat apne Doston se kabhi bhi apni ghar ki bat ya Biwi ki bat share na karain...

Hi Dear

AOA

            its gud to help ur dear ones and friends, That famous qutation "Charity begun from home" u take care of ur self first then others.

make some rules specially when u r going to get marry These Rules will help u and ur future wife.

I m also in Dubai i know life here........ think about to bring ur wife here u will make rules automatically. u will know wat to dooooooo.

any way cheeeeer up congrates u r going to get marry A new Life Money will come morrrrrrrrrreeee. U know girls has magic to change their HUBBBBI she will come so will beeee nt as anxited as now... Think Positive PRAY.... People r loosing their lives Money can earnnnnn ..... Take care Budy

awais_1982

dear zindagi esi ka naam hai...inshaan jab paida hota hai os ke pass kisi cheez ka koi experince nehin hota.ose nehin pata hota kya sehi hai kya ghalat hai,ose yeh bhi nehin pata hota ke woh khud bhi kya hai..aishta aishta jab woh bhara hone lagta hai to ose khud k sath sath dosre aas paas logo ka bhi pata lagne lagta hai.

phir aak waqt yeh ata hai ke jab woh dosro ki asliyat ke bare mein bhi jaane lag jata hai phir woh aak complete insaan banta hai..jo aaj aap ban gaye ho.

acha hua aaj aap par bura din aya..ager achey din hote to aap dosro ko kese pehchante?humhesha dosro ko tab he pehchana jata hai jab aap dosre se chote ho ge.ager os ke level ya os se bhare ho ge to aap os ko nehin pehchan sakte.

ager aap ke achey din he hote aaj bhi to aap aaj bhi dosro par meharbaan hote.aap ko waqt ne dekhaya hai ke aap ke aas paas ke loog aap se nehin aap ke dolat se pyar karte hain.aaj aap se dolat chali gayi to sab aap se door ho gaye yeh waqt bhoolne wala nehin na ke kisi se badla lene wala hai

yeh waqt to aap ko life guzaarne ka method bata raha hai..to aap udaas kyun ho rahe ho?sirf es liye ke aap ko sab ne choor diya?aap ke sath pehle bhi kon tha?koi bhi nehin...........dear khud ko storng karo dosro ke sahare jeena choor do.zindagi akeele jeena seekho..koi kisi ke kaam nehin ata...even sakha bhai bhi kaam nehin ata..

sakha bhai bhi aak din pechaane se inkaar kar deta hai phir sab se zaida dukh hota hai..lekin ose bhi face karna parta hai yeh bhi life ka aak hisa hai..yeh mera parsonally experince hai.

insaan ko seeda aur shareef rehna chahein..lekin karobaar mein aak asool banao koi dost nehin koi bhai nehin karobaar sirf karobaar.rishtedaari baad mein.apne kuch asool banao jesa ke sunheri ne kaha.kuch karne se pehle 100 baar socho aur yeh bhi socho ke os ka end mein anjaam kya ho ga.har cheez ko mandey nazar rakh kar qadam utaya karo.

aap ko problem yeh hai ke aap yeh sab recover kese karo ge..aap befiker ho kar shaadi karo aap ki qismat khul jaye gi..kyun ke phir aap ko jo mele ga woh aap ki wife ki qismat ka mele ga..aap khud bhi pareshan ho jaye ge ke itna to Allah ne pehle bhi nehin diya jitna ab diya hai.

aap ne sab ki help ki aur saaf dil se ki..os ka ajar abhi aap ko melna hai..hum mein se bather insaan wohi hai jo dosro ko faida pohanchaye...to aap ne ager kisi ki help ki kisi ko roozi lagwa di to koi aap ki rozi kese cheen sakta hai..aap ko jo melna hai woh aap ko mel kar he rehna hai jo aap ki qismat mein likha hai woh aap ka he hai..

pareshan ho kar socha nehin karte balke pareshani ke aalam mein Allah ko yaad karte hain.aur Allah se he help maangte hain..hum insaan aap ko kuch nehin de sakte..na he koi doctor aap ko kuch de sakta hai..ager aap ko help chahein to Allah se maango..inshallah woh aap ki suney ga aur aap ki help kare ga...

es liye aap dil chota na karo aur waqt ki munaasbat ko dekh kar os se experince hasil karo..aur aak new life start karo..kisi bhai kisi dost par depend karna choor do..jo karna hai ab aap ko khud karna hai..aap be fiker ho kar shaadi karo inshallah sab theek ho jaye ga.

aur han shaadi mein mujhe zaroor bulana ;-)

Re: Sunehri

As salam o Alaikum.

thank you very much for your advice inshallah may har bat par pora amal karny ki kosis karoga.

Allah Hafiz

Re: chaman

As salam o Alaikum

thank you very much for your reply. dear main nay already wife ka residence visa nikalwa lia hay use ki waja say 7 month pahly nikah kia tha taky documents banwa k us ka visa nikalwa kar rukhsate k bad us ko apny sath he lay kar ao ALHAMDULILLAH ghar ki bhi seting hogy hay.

Allah Hafiz

Re: veer

As salam o Alaikum:

thanks bro really may bht relax feel kar raha ho sab nay bht ache tarha say mere problems ko samjha or buhut acha hal bhi bataya may waki sab ka buhut mashkor ho aur sab say pahly ALLAH ka waki ya bht ache site hay hum jesy log yaha apny har maslay ka hal ghar bethy nikal sakty hay.

kiyo nahi dear ap kia ap sab invited ho mere shadi may ab forum k rolls ki waja say may koi personal details wagera nahi bata sakta to ap he batao may kesy invite karo ap ko.  well shadi karachi may hay malir kay area may 14th ko shadi, 15th ko walima.

thanks again bro take care.

Allah Hafiz 

Hi Pardesi

 AOA

         yaar phir koon kehta hy app khe app ko change honay ki zaroorat hy

            Nikha hoo gia , visa Niklwa lia, Residence ka arrangment hoo gia etc..

               U r quit SMART person and working in Real estate z nt joke....

             keeeeep going Dude.....  B happy enjoy ur time in wed shopping nowwww.

  TC

re: chaman

thanks bro buhut khusi hue ap ki batay sun k inshallah may kosis karoga khud ko change karny ki.

thanks again bro

Allah Hafiz

awais_1982

yes