Avoiding intercourse with wife

Assalam o Alaikum,

I am a genuine asker and I need a serious advice. I am about to get married in 3 months InshaALLAAH. My fiance is still studying and we would like to not have a child rightaway. SO, my question is that what does Islam say about waiting on having intercourse after marriage? Does Islam permit me to NOT have relations with my wife for now, and start my family later? My fiancee is completely co-operative in this case but we want to know what is the right way to go. I have listened to lectures on internet and they say that using artificial means is prohibited. So, if I have intercourse it leads to pregnancy. The question is that what if I DONT have intercourse with her at all? Is that permissible in Islam for some time, due to genuine reasons? In my case, the reason is my going-to-be wife's education. Genuine answers are welcome. Thanks.

Gguestuser

Listen bro pregnancy koi mzak nahi k aap ney idhar intercourse kiya udar aap ki wife pregnant. If you want to avoid pregnancy without using artificial means because you think that is haram aap ek simple kaam karen. you can try doing intercourse less often during the first year and even if you do try keeping her on top that is also helpfull coz in that position semen does not flow to places where it is needed for prgnancy (this is something i read some book I am not 100 percent sure). Dont deprive your wife or yourself from anything you want and which is also legal.

Plus if you want to avoid it you can I do not think it is prohibitted . Biggest example is Hazrat Ayesha's marriage with Prophet Muhammad (P.B.U.H).But keep in mind one thing that if during this time of abdtenance you feel that this abstenance is causing you to do something wrong then try switching to normal routine of married couples. If your wife wants it then it is your obligation to do it. If you want it it is her obligation to do it. If both of you agree to avoid with mutual consent then there is no harm.and it is not prohibbited.

There is although a hadith which says that even during jihad it was considered better if the sahabi's would go back to their wives once after three months. husbanda and wife should not stay away from eachother fior more than 3 months. I this matter was so stressed upon that it was quoted in hadith then maybe there is some Hikmat in it. But i do not think it is prohibitted specifically in Islam to refrain from sex with wife after mutual consent.

maira plss explain?

Example of Hazrat Ayesha's marriage

clarification

Had she gone Hazrat Mohammad(SAW) house and they had a gap there or she was still at her place??? please provide proper references to explain if avoiding the intercourse with both partners consent allowed in islam or no?? Also, is it going to have any effects on my wife if we try for a child after 3 years!! please clarify...thanks for your effort maira...

childbirth problem

agreed with shahzaib warraich

Important question is

Do you want to just avopid pregnancy or do you want to avoid sexual contact at all because you and your wifea9to beaaaaaa) think that it will distract you guys from your studies?

If first is the case and only want to avoid pregnancy you can go for options given above by me and other members.

If second is the case(which is quite genuine, it does effect females learning capability and concentration power) then you can go for completely avoiding it.It is not prohibitted anywhere i guess.I have no properrefrences for this thing though.

mairak

mairak:

My point is not getting her preganant or not pregnant that i know how to stop it. But what i want to know is that are there any references of Quran or Hadith saying that you should not wait long to start the intercouse or its ok to wait. I just want to know what Islam permits.

I may sound picky but I really want to find out the right way!!

Please reply with refernces only!

Thanx

Gguestuser

alirajput

If i had references, I wouldnt be here asking for this stuff...I am here to ask for help so that nothing is done wrong....If u dont have anything relevant or better to say..please stay away from these conversations because it might be something very minor to u but it might not be for somebody else...

I have read a lot of stuff at different places so I am confused and requested for references so that I am sure about what I should be doing...and there's isnt any wrong in asking about what Islam says with proves.

Please DO NOT comment if u have nothing better to say..thanks

Mariak: thanks a lot for ur effort and help..but I'll be thankful if you could help me with my problem..thanks...May God bless u...!!!

LO JNAB GEE REFRENCE AA GYA.....

All i know about avoiding intercourse after wedding is the following. Ye koi direct evidence tou nahi but ye zrur hai k agar iss situation me idda (iddat ) ka bayan kiya gaya hai tou means ye ek jayaz situation hai possible situation ha islamic scholars ki nazar me. yani ap akhaz ker saktay hain iss ki base per . "_____If a wife who has completed nine years of her age and is not in menopause, is divorced by her husband after sexual intercourse, it is necessary for her to observe the waiting period of divorce.......If, however, a husband divorces his wife before having sexual intercourse with her, there is no waiting period for her and she can marry another man immediately after being divorced, except if she finds traces of her husband's semen in her private part, then she should observe Iddah. _____"

Ye quote ek islamic website se ha. me links post nahi ker saktee wo against forum policy hoga.

Problem solved heheheheeheheee

Regards

Mairak

@ mairak

Gguestuser

batman bhai

Purani bat ka jawab na dijye wo baat meray nazdeek khud b zyada authentic nahee issi liye me na bola tha k I Guess Means SHAYAD essa ho.I agree k wo example sahi nahee kiyunkay Hazrat Ayesha RA ka just nikah huwa tha shadi nahi(rukhsati k baad unka normal relation of husband wife tha.

Now come to my recent post in this topic/thread.dekhain iss quoted maslay ma jo actually iddat (talaq k baad ki time) k baray me ha. uss ma likha hai kai 9 years ki age k baad menopause ki age k pehla agar shadi hui tou larki ko without intercourse divorce tou ho jayegi but iddat (jo actually peternity ki determination k liye hoti ha) wo nahee zaruri. Kiyunke intercourse k bgher pregnancy hee nahee hogi.

Please re- read following part._____except if she finds traces of her husband's semen in her private part, then she should observe Iddah____.Zahir ha ke iss case me tou just nikkah wali khatoon ka zikar nahee ho raha na? Kiyun kay jo larki abi husband k ghar nahee gayee uss kay private parts per semen ko check kerna k hukam tou ussi ko diya jayega jo husband k ghar me rahi ho.

Moreover ye b abhi bohat exact refrence nahee hai lekin yahan essi case ka zikar hua tou that means k islamic scholers (sahaba) iss ko aik possible situation manatay thay. legitimate situation. yani divorce ka zikar ha. Nikah hota hai tou divorce hoti ha.warna nahee hoti .nikah kharij hona aur divorce hona dou different cheezain hain.nikah k invalidate honay ka nahee jessy k sodomy ma ho jata hai.

I stll say that i am not a religious scholar me sirf help kerna chahtee houn aur i think jo baat me na ki ha. iss hadd tak meri research theek ha.

Agar allowed na hota

Dear gGuestuser

Agar allowed nahee hota tou phit talaq ki zrurat nahee hotee Nikah ka contract khatam kerna k liye.Balkay ye kaha jata k essi shadi ya nikah to huwa hi nahee.Essi surat me ye kaha jana k intercoyurse kiye bgher talaq dee means Nikah without intercourse ki validity ha islam ki nazar ma. Jahan tak baat rahi iddat na hona ki tou wo nahee zruri kiyunkay dono partners ko pata hai k wo interciourse me involve he nehee huway.Larki ko check kerna ki hidayat means larki aur larka ek chatt k nichay rehtay hain aur possible foreplay wghera k doran agar kuch semen transfer ho b gaya on her private parts (without intercourse b) to possibly wo pregnmant ho jaye so to avoid doubts iddat ka hukam lagaya jayye ga.

I hope ab aap ka doubts kuch clear ho gaye hon gay.

@ mairak

I also read forum scholar myrizvi stating, that by mutual consent of both marriage partners, intercourse can be avoided temporarily

alirajput

Q&A;

Assalam o Alaikum,

Walekum Assalam

I am a genuine asker and I need a serious advice. I am about to get married in 3 months InshaALLAAH. My fiance is still studying and we would like to not have a child rightaway. SO, my question is that what does Islam say about waiting on having intercourse after marriage?

Ans: If you will live separately after marriage, then it is very easy not to having intercourse. but if you are going to live together, then practically it is almost impossible to avoid intercourse at all

Does Islam permit me to NOT have relations with my wife for now, and start my family later? My fiancee is completely co-operative in this case but we want to know what is the right way to go.

Ans: Yes it depends upon both of you. Islam doesn't force you to start ur family life just after nikah

I have listened to lectures on internet and they say that using artificial means is prohibited.

Ans: using artificial means are NOT prohibited. you can use any temporary method to avoid pregnancy.

So, if I have intercourse it leads to pregnancy. The question is that what if I DONT have intercourse with her at all?

Ans: It is better to have intercourse and use any temporary method to avoid pregnancy. avoiding intercourse will leads more complication in near future.

Is that permissible in Islam for some time, due to genuine reasons? In my case, the reason is my going-to-be wife's education. Genuine answers are welcome. Thanks.

Ans: Though you have right to avoid having intercourse...but if you have 2 choices, then better choice is to opt avoid pregnancy by artificial means, intead of avoiding intercourse