 How To Develop Self Esteem In Children Part 5
Continued from part 4 4-Bachhay ko galat NAAM say pahchanay janay ki aadat na dalain: Bachhay ka zahen apnay barray main wohi sochta hay jo aap uss kay baray main ussay batatay rahtay hain. Ager parents bachhay ko musalsal batatay rahain kay wo aik achha insaan hay aur uss ko sirf achhay naam say hi pukarain tu wo apnay baray main achhi opinion bana lay ga aur sari zindgi ussay qaiam rakhay ga. Aur ager baat iss kay ber-aks ho gi tu wo phir ussi diaay houay buray naam ko apni skhsiyat ka hissa samaj lay ga. Misaal kay toar per ager aap apnay bachhay ko mustaqil toar per badtamiz kah ker bulatay rahain aur her choti beri galti per ussay yah kahtay rahain kay wo aik badtamiz bachha hay, tu yaqeen ker lain kay wo aap ko phir hamisha badtamiz ban ker hi dikhata rahay ga. Aisa LABEL jab insaan kay naam ka hissa ban jata hay tu phir ussay issi aai-naay main apnay aap ko daikhnay ki aadat ho jati hay. Ab ager uss kay kachay kaam per bhi koi ussay achha aur TAMIZDAR honay ka hitaab daina chahay ga tu uss kay liay aisi batain na-qabil-e-qabool ho jain gi. Kayoun? Iss liay kay ussay apnay baaray main sirf aik hi lafz yani bADTAMIZ sunnnay ki aadat rahi hay lahaza yah achhi baat ussay berdasht nahi ho pay gi aur wo ainda achhay kamoun say door bhagnay ki koshish keray ga. Aisay bachay jin kay parents unhain batatay rahtay hain kay wo ACHHAY hain, TAMIZDAAR hain, aur BOHADER hain wagaira wagaira, tu iss say na sirf bachhay ki self esteem main izzafa hota hay balkay wo aisay diay gay namoun kay maani per poora uternay ki koshish bhi kerta hay, takay parents uss kay baaray main qaiam ki hoi achhi opinion badal na lain. Iss liay bohat hi ziada zarooi hay kay bachay ko achhay achhay naam say pukara jay takay wo apnay baray main achi opinion qaim keray aur apni izzat keray takay na sir fuss ki self esteem ziada ho balkay wo self confident bhi ho jay. 5- Bachhay ko dantna ager zaroori ho jay tu alahdagi main dantain: Baaz auqaat daant dapat nihayat zaroori ho jati hay. Aisay moqqa per aap chahay kisi mahfil main hi mojood houn, sab kay samnay bachhay ko burra bhala kahna intihai galat baaat hay. Bachhay ko aik taraf lay jain, aur munasib alfaaz main jis tara merzi say usay samjain, lakin yaad rakhian kay ager aap us ski bay-izzati sab kay samnay kertay hain tu aap apnay hi hathoun apnay bachhay kay masoom zahen main bagawat aur nafrat kay jazbaat bher rahay hain, jis ka natijaa mustaqbil main hood aap ko bhi bhugatna peray ga. 6-Jo baat hatam ho gai ho ussay bhool jain: Jab aik daffa aik baat per bachay ko daant chukay hain, tu baat hatam honay kay baad bachay ko phir say wohi piyaar daina shuru ker dain jis ka wo mutahiq hay. Ab ager agli gafa koi aur galti kerta hay tu uss say sirf uss nai galti kay baray main hi baat cheet kerain ya dantain, puraani galti ka hwala kabhi na dain, yani yah na kahin kay…..tum ho hi aisay bachay kayounkay tum nay kal flaan badtamizi kit hi aur aaj yah ker di hay…..wagaira wagaira.
7-Bachhay ko moqa dain: ……..Kay wo apni galti ko samjay aur ussay durust keray, takay uss main ahssas paida ho kay doosray insaan bhi ahsaasaat rakhtay hain. Maslan, ager wo kisi bachay ki pattai ker day tu aap kay liay durust rawaya yah hay kay aap uss ko dantnay ki bajay batain kay doosra bachha kaisay dukh mahsoos ker raha hay aur phir bachay ko moqa dain kay wo doosray bachay say apni galti per shirmindgi ka izhaar keray aur uss kay sath dobara dosti keray. Iss say bachay main doosroun ko samajnay ka jazbaa aur ahsaas-e-zimadari berhay ga. Note: mazeed tafseel part 6 mainperhain.
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Dr Pk