Sir! I cann’t THANK
YOU enough for your time, encouragement
n everything that you are doing to help me out of my present state of
helplessness n frustration. i can Only say that i’ll always remember you n your
loved ones in my prayers. I also highly appreciate the way you describe each n
everything to me.i am sure these posts would really be of great help to many
others like me. And yes, Please don’t embarrass me by apologizing as i know
very well that people like you have important things to do and have less time
even for themselves.
I have perfectly understood the anxiety n stress reducing
technique you have told me and will InshaAllah start it today with surity and
strong belive that this will definitely work the way you said J I am already feeling
great and have become more hopefull with your most kind words and
encouragement.
Aur mai iss baat ko bhi achhi terha sey samajhti hon k
online suggestions daina aur diagnoses kitna risky aur responsibility wala kaam
hay laikn mujhay koi aur health issues nahi Alhamdolillah wrinkled fingertips
aur knees cracking k lye aapnay jo batay ussy follow karoungi kiun mai nay khud
bhi notice kia hay k sirf vitamins khanay sy kuch dino mein fingertips mein
improvement aa rahi hay.
Once again Thanks a lot for your valued help and yes, I shall be
eagerly waiting for your goodself teaching me some basic CBT techniques J
Group: Members Joined: 04th Mar, 2011 Topic: 11 Post: 1222 Age:
33
Posted on:13th Dec 2012, 10:40pm
GullRukh:
Walaikum Salam,
Kaisee hain aap?
Thank you so very much once again for such kind words and compliments :)
And, of course, thank you very much Dr.Qasim.
Over the next few days, mein koshish karoon gaa keh aap ko depression aur anxiety ka treatment ki CBT exercises sikha doon, aur mein aap ko daily sirf thorra thorra bataon gaa, takeh aap aik concept ko acchhe tarah samajh lain, aur phir next step ki taraf aaian, because it is important that you do it just the right way.
First mein yeh strategies aap ko depression ka treatment ka lia bataon gaa, aur jab aap ko depression ki CBT aa jae gee, uska baad yehi sab anxiety ka lia bhee bata doon gaa. Agar aap depression ki CBT strategies sahih say samajh gaeen to phir anxiety ki treatment strategies samajhna bohot aasan ho jae gaa.
First cheez jo aap na karni hai woh apna mood ko measure aur monitor karna seekhna hai, with the help of a "Mood Scale". So let me explain to you what a mood scale is.
Basically, a mood scale is a measure of paying attention to, and quantifying our mood, based on how we are feeling at a certain time. Generally, our mood in a certain situation could be anywhere from zero to 10. Zero would be feeling as low, down and sad as we can ever be, and 10 would be feeling very very happy ( I think you got the point).
The numbers 1,2,3,4....9, would be falling somewhere between these two extremes. Generally, most non depressed people in their day to day life, fluctuate between 3 or 4 when they are upset, to around 7 or 8 when they are happy. Depressed people fluctate between 0, 1 or 2 when they are really depressed and around 6 or 7 when they are happy. These are very key concepts so I hope I am explaining them to you clearly.
What I want you to do now is to get a pen and paper, draw a vertical line, with number zero on the bottom, and, yes, you guessed it right, 10 on top. In front of every number, write down situations from your previous experiences which would have caused you to have the corresponding mood. For example, think for a moment about situations from your past where you felt intensely sad and blue( depressed). For example, it could be when your parents yelled at you, or something similar. I am just giving you an example, you will have to come up with the real situations that pertain to a corresponding mood number. In front of zero ( as depressed as you had ever been), write down the situation or situations that caused you to have a mood rating of zero. Then think about and write down a situation that would cause you to have a mood rating of 1. Similarly continue for every number, 2 3 4...Similarly, think about happy situations from your past and write them down on the mood scale, they probably would fall around 6 or 7, maybe even higher. The basic idea here is to help you identify and quantify and monitor your mood closely, so that you can pay attention to and take effective measures when your mood is getting too low, and the other thing it helps with is to help you identify situations from your real life that cause you to have dangerously low moods. Therefore, if you are facing a potentially similar siuation in
the future, than you can take extra precautions and be well prepared.
Try to read a couple of times what I just explained about the Mood Scale, as I want you to fully understand this . Now, go ahead and try to make a mood scale on a piece of paper, just like I told you. You may have to modify it a couple of times as you may not get it right the first time. On the other hand, I don't want you to get overly anxious about getting all the mood ratings absolutely right; becauseas long as you get a general idea of your mood ratings, that is what really matters.
If you understand and grasp this very basic first step, you would see over the next few days that it would greatly help you in correctly implementing the CBT strategies for the treatment of depression.
Practice identifying varying degress of your mood states, with the help of your mood scale. Once you have mastered this, I will tell you how our thoughts influence our mood. And as a last step, you will learn how to modify your thoughts so that they can change your mood from sad to not so sad. That basically is CBT in a nut shell.
The key here is to not to work on these too quickly, but to take your time, and to work on these in just the right way, so you can reap maximum benefits.
Let me know how it went? Also, I hope that you had a chance to practice the deep breathing exercise.
Mai bilkul theek hon Alhamdolillah thanks for asking J Aap kaisa hain?
Mai aapko breathing exercise k baary mein feedback ussi din
daina chahti the jiss din aapnay bataee thi
magar mai nay socha behtar hoga ager 2,3 din practice kernay k baad
aapko apna experience bataon.first time jub mai nay abdominal breathing ki tou
mind jo aik terha sey foggy sa rehta tha aur suffocating sa bhi uss mein pehli
baar mein hi distinct change aaya tha meri soch mei kaafi clarity aa gayee thi
aur andaza bhi hogaya k meri breathing
kitni improper hay.meray toes kaafi relax
ho gaye thay, infact mery whole body
muscles relax ho gaye thay mai 3 bar hi ker saki houn on daily basis aur
koshish karoungi iss sey ziada baar karoun InshaAllah.mai nay aik aur baat bhi
note ki hay k mujhay ager koi negative thought aati hay apnay baary mein be it
abut appearance aur dealing with people jo k mera sub sey bara masla hay tou
meray dimagh mein instantly counter positive thought aa jaati hay aur ziada
achhi baat yeh hay k mai pehlay apnay baary mein positive assertions ko accept
nahi ker paati thi laikn ab kernay lagi houn.haan kal raat phir sey sotay waqt
self-pity attack hua tha laikn mai nay successfully jhatak dia zehan sey aik
tou pehlay uss self-pity thought k peechay reason ko find out kia aur mujhay
woh reason ill-logical lagi aur yeh bhi socha k ab mujhay theek hona hay bus
yeh thoughts aur nahi chalaingi pehlay meray lye boht mushkil hota tha aisa
kerna laikn kal comparatively araam sey ker lia.mujhay lagta hay pehlay mujhay
yeh chez ziada asaan lagti k mai selfpity state mein chali jaoun aur mujhay
kuch bhi na kerna paray yani non-functional state ziada asaan lagti thi laikn
ab jub sey realize kia hay k iss chez nay meri personality ko kitna affect kia
hay aur yeh bhi k mujhay Allah nay complete banaya hay laikn mai apni abilities
ko use nahi ker rahi khud ko zaya ker rai hon yeh aik terha sy Allah kin Na-Shukri
hay isslye ab mujhay lagta hay mujhay apnay comfort zone sy non-comfort zone
mein aana paraiga.
Aapnay jo mood scaling ka bataya i think jaisa k aapnay kaha
k mujhay issko 2,3 baar mazeed parh ker samajhna chahye aur mujhay bhi lagta
hay k yeh meray lye zera mushkil kaam hay apnay mood ko samajhnay ki mai nay
tub bhi koshish ke the jub aapko
depression related questionnaire k answers day rahi thi laikn yeh mery lye tub bhi mushkil
tha, but aapki post read kernay k baad itna andaza achhi terha sey hogaya k
mood scale method ko practice kerna
kitna significant hay Depression k illaaj k lye bhi aur mujhay khood ko
samajhnay mein bhi boht madad milaigi.
A Bundle Of THANKS for your precious time and help. May
Allah Bless You n your family with all the goodness in this world and in life
Here-after Aamen Sum Amen.
Sir! Mai nay aaj mood Scale
rating ki hay aur jaisy k aap nay kaha tha mujhay issko modify even re-modify
kerna para laikn mai yeh jannay k lye k kia mujhay theek sey samajh aayee hay
mood scale ki mai kuch poochna chahti hon.
1. Mood scale rating k waqt zarooori
nahi k mera koi bhi life event 10 pay ya 0 pay aaye matlab kia 0-10 scale per
koi bhi number unfilled reh sakta hay?
2. Kia aisa ho sakta hay k several sad or
happy events aik hi number per rate kiye jayein?
Meray sad events matlab jub mai nay boht low feel kia happy
events sey ziada aur intense hain aur sadness ko feel kernay ki duration
happiness say ziada hay, kaafi ziada.
Group: Members Joined: 04th Mar, 2011 Topic: 11 Post: 1222 Age:
33
Posted on:16th Dec 2012, 11:40pm
GullRukh:
Walaikum Salam!
I am fine, alhamdolillah, and thanks for asking.
I am so sorry for not replying to you earlier, but I had gone on a skiing trip for the weekend. I just got back home. If it's ok with you, I will give you a detailed reply tomorrow, but for now, just a very quick reply to your 2 questions.
1. ji, koi bhee number unfilled reh sakta hai. Actually, mujha andaza hai keh mood scale mein aap ko kuch difficulties ho rahee hain, iss lia inshallah kal mein aap ko mood scale ka aik slightly simplified version bata doon gaa, you would find that one much easier. Pehla aap uss simplified version ko complete kar lain, aur phir jab easy lagay then you can try this one.
2. Ji bilkul, several events aik hi number par rate kia jaa saktay hain, as long as all of them cause same degree of distress.
Aap na bataya keh aap ka sad events ki intensity aur duration happy events say ziada hai. Well, actually, that doesn't surprise me at all. That's what depression is!
Just a very brief word of encouragement. I am very happy for you that you did try out the abdominal breathing, and noticed significant improvement. Also, you may not even know it, but you already are implementing some of the very important and fundamental skills of CBT, including monitoring your negative thoughts, and challanging those thoughts instead of accepting them at the face value.
It is so nice to see that you are truly committed to improving your life by taking charge of your emotions. Hats off to you !!!
Sir! Sub sy pehlay tou boht shukria aapka reply ka, doosri
baat mujhay andaza tha k weekend hay tou definitely iss hawalay sey aap ki apni
bhi kuch activities hongi.Aur meray lye yeh boht bari baat hay k Aap mujhay
itni guidance day rahay hain werna yahan meray lye in person kissi professional
Psychiatrist sey milna aur therapy waghaira kerwana na mumkin hi hay as you
know yahi kaha jaata hay k girls ki shadi mein mushkil hoti hay agar pata
chalay k woh psychiatrist k chakkar laga rahi hay J Aap nay mood sale k hawalay
sy jo answers dyay hain uss sy kaafi had tak mujhay clear ho gaya hay laikn i
shall be waiting for your detailed reply.
Abdominal breathing tou mai regularly 3-4 times ker rahi
houn laikn mujhay pichlay 2,3 dino sy aadhay sir mein dard horaha hay right
temple aur right side eye mein dard hotay huay neechay neck muscles tak chala
jaata hay kuch arsa pehlay yeh dard jub hota tou saath mein vomiting bhi hoti
aur upset stomach bhi aur pain killers sy bhi theek nahi hota, ab pehlay sey tou yeh attacks kaafi kam hain laikn hota hay zaroor shayad
thakan ki wajah sey?
Aik aur positive chez jo mai nay note ki hay abdominal
breathing k baad k pehlay mai jub sonay k koshish kerti tou sir mein ajeeb
khinchao rehta tha ab Alhamdolillah woh chez ghaib ho gayee hay aur mai ab
saans ziada dair rok ker soch nahi sakti lagta hay aadat ho rahi hay proper
breathing ki.kal sy mai yeh bhi try ker rahi hon k relax rahon jub farigh hon aur
kissi had tak kaamyab bhi hun iss koshish mein werna pehlay mujhay her kaam ki
jaldi rehti thi aur Guilty feel kerti thi k mai tou farigh hon koi kaam kiu
nahi ker rahi.
Tou yeh tou meri current condition ki update thi J ab aapki post ka wait
karoungi.Once Again Thank you A Lot for your sincere help and encouragement.
May Allah Bless You with Long,Successful and Happy life Aamen Sum Aamen.
Group: Members Joined: 04th Mar, 2011 Topic: 11 Post: 1222 Age:
33
Posted on:17th Dec 2012, 11:47pm
GullRukh:
Salam O Alaikum!
Thanks again for such kind words. Agar meri thorri si help sa aap ki life mein positive change aa jae to mujha bohot khushi ho gee. It certainly has been a pleasure to be of some help to you:)
Sab say pehla aap ko mood scale ka simplified version bata doon, aur jab aap simplified version ko theek say samajh jaeen gee to phir aap ka liya iss waalay mood scale ko bhee samajhna aasan ho jae gaa.
Pehla aap ko yeh bata doon keh mood scale kion important hota hai. Basically, depression ki CBT ka main purpose yeh hai keh aap kay depression kay level aur severity ko kam kia jae, aur yeh confirm karna kay lia keh depression waqai kam hoi hai yaa nahin, aap ko apni depression ki different severities ka andaza hona chahye, otherwise aap apni progress ko sahih say track nahin kar sakeen gee, aur CBT itni effective nahin rahay gee. Aap ka mood kisi bhee waqt kitna sad, depressed, yaa happy hai, iss cheez ko measure aur quantify karna ka lia mood scale zaroori hai.
Ok, chalain ab aap ko simplified version day doon. Basically, aap na karna yeh hai keh aik paper par aik vertical line khenchni hai, aur usko 3 parts mein divide karna hai ( instead of dividing in 1-10 like in the more difficult version). Sab say neecha jo part hai, usko "Very Sad" mark kar dain. Middle portion ko "Sad" mark kar dain, aur top portion ko "Normal" mark kar dain.
Ab apni memory say kuch aisee situations yaad karain jab aap bohot ziada sad theen, aur yeh yaad karna ki koshish karain keh yeh high level of sadness ki feelings aap ki body mein kis tarah ki sensations paida kar rahee theen, for example some people feel very tired when they are depressed, like they don't even want to get out of the bed, kuch log tearful feel kartay hain, kuch log angry etc etc. Aur phir woh life situations jin mein aap ki feelings bohot sad hotee theen, unn 2-3 situations ko Very sad waala portion mein likh dain.
Next, yehi cheez aap ko "Sad" portion ka lia karnee hai, aur phir yehi cheez "Normal"portion ka lia bhee. Aap na apna mood scale ka concept sahih say grasp kar lia hai, yeh uss waqt ho gaa jab aap apni depression ki atleast 2 categories ( Very sad, aur Sad) ko recognize kar lain gee, aur iska saath saath apna normal mood ko bhee recognize karna sekh jaaian gee.
Yeh hai mood scale ka simplified version. Ho sakta hai iss mein bhee kuch cheezain aap ko first time mein nah samajh aaian, iska yeh matlab nahin keh aap sharminda feel karain, baat yeh hai keh yeh difficult concepts hain, aur inko properly samajhna mein time lagta hai.
Apna mood scale prepare karni ki practice karain, aur koi bhee baat samajh mein nah aaie yaa nah clear ho to mujh say pooch lain.
Mein aap ko next yeh bataon gaa keh hamara mood ko sab say ziada strongly influence kia cheez kartee hai,aur woh hai hamari thoughts.Sab say acchhe baat yeh keh thorri si koshish aur effort say hamari thoughts hamara control mein aa saktee hain, yaa doosray alfaaz mein yoon keh lain keh apni thoughts ko control kar keh ham apna mood ko sadness say normal mood ki taraf laa saktay hain. Magar yeh sab kaisa kia jae, yeh batana say pehla mein yeh chahta hoon keh aap mood scale ko theek tarah say samajh lain.
Aap na jo aadha sar ka dard bataya hai, usko migraine headches kehta hain, aur yeh aik kaafi common headche hota hai, jis ka main symptoms generally yehi hota hain keh aadha sar mein dard hota hai aur saath nausea aur vomitting bhee feel hoti hai. Aksar, roshni say pain aur increase hota hai. Yeh episodes kae ghanta ki duration ka hota hain. Iska as such koi specific cure to nahin, magar bohot si meds say symptoms mein relief aata hai. Aap migraines search karain aur phir batain keh kia aap ko symptoms migraine ka lagta hain yaa kuch aur?
Mujha khushi hai keh abdominal breathing say aap ka stress level kam hona laga hai. Issi tarah agar aap CBT ki strategies bhee sahih say implement karain gee ( and I am sure you will) to inshallah aap ki depression mein bhee bohot kami aaie gee.Mashallah, you are an intelligent lady and also very motivated. I don't have any doubts that you would be able to unlock the door to happiness and an emotionally fulfilling life for yourself.
Sir! mai 2 din post nahi ker saki kuk pichlay 2,3 din mai boht low feel ker rahi thi pata nahi ku? laikn mera kissi sey baat kernay ko dil nahi ker raha tha most of the time i had been feeling like crying,koi mujh sey baat kerta even ki simple sa question poochta to mujhay shaded ghussa aa jata tha aur mujhay pata tha k yeh sahi nahi jisski wajah sy mai guilty feel kerti aur khud sey larti aur mazeed stess barh jata.right now i'm feeling much better Alhamdolillah,may b mai isslye bhi stressed out hon kuk meri shadi kuch weeks mein hi honay waali hay ghar per tu mai her qism k mood k saath function kerti hon APPARENTLY Normal way mein isslye kisi ko andaza nahi hota laikn mujhay dar hay k shadi k baad kia hoga when i won't feel like talking or going out etc? doosri baat jo mai iss doran feel kerti rahi woh yeh thi k mera ji chah raha tha k apnay husband sy bhi baat na karoun kahi door chali jaoun n scary thing was that i wanted to ignore him n with my cold attitude i wanted to Hurt him a lot? mujhay nahi pata mai aisa ku feel ker rahi thi apna badla aik aisa insaan sey laina jo aapki care kerta ho isski nafsiyati wajah samajh mein nahi a rahi?
Well,mai nay 'mood scale' try kia tha thori c mushkil huee thi Normal moods ko yaad kernay mein but ho gaya.
Mai nay migraine search kia tha internet mein ziada ter symptoms match ker rahay hain.kia mujhay kissi Physician sey check up kerwa k confirm kerna chahye kiuk yahan tou medication bhi nahi di jaa sakti?
Mai abdominal breathing regularly ker rahi hon agarcha meray mushkil tha depression mein issy continue kerna laikn mujhay laga k mai jitni koshish ker sakti hon mujhay kerni chahye baaki Allah theek ker daiga Insha Allah.
Thnakyou So Much Sir for your kind and encouraging words And prayers.
May Allah Bless You With All The Happiness and Goodness in Life, Aamen Sum Aamen.
Group: Members Joined: 04th Mar, 2011 Topic: 11 Post: 1222 Age:
33
Posted on:23rd Dec 2012, 12:07am
GullRukh:
Salam Alaikum!
Sorry for the late reply.
Mujha khushi hai keh apna temporary low grade mood ka baad ab aap behtar feel kar rahee hain. I know woh 2,3 din aap ka lia kaafi tough guzra hon gay, magar aap isko aik disappointing episode ka bajae apna lia aik learning opportunity ka tor par lain, takeh aap ka yeh negative episode aap ka lia aik positive experience ban jae. I will explain this in a few minutes.
Pehla mein aap ko aap ka questions ka reply kar doon.
Aap na bataya keh iss depressing time mein aap apna husband ko bhee emotionally hurt karna chah rahee theen, aur yeh keh aap ko iss ki reason nahin samajh aaie. Well, actually, the reason is pretty simple indeed. Har insan ki yeh basic need hoti hai keh woh apni feelings, acchhee hon yaa buri, unn logon ka saath share karay jo uss say close hoon. Unfortunately, aap apni emotional state, apna inner turmoil, aur apna emotional pain apna husband ka saath verbally share nahin kar paa raheen, for a variety of reasons. Issi lia yeh desire keh unko bhee aap ka pain ka andaza ho, iss desire ko poora karna ka lia aap unko indirect way mein emotionally hurt karna chah rahee hain, apna cold aur distant attitude say. Takeh jab aap ka iss attitude ki wajah say woh hurt feel karain to unko bhee wohi pain feel ho jo aap feel kartee hain. Aap jaan boojh kar aisa nahin kar raheen, balkeh sub conscious level par aisa kar rahee hain, sirf iss cheez ko accomplish karna kay lia keh unko bhee uss pain ka andaza ho jae jo aap feel kartee rehtee hain. Does it make sense what I just explained?
Migraine headaches aik bohot common illness hai, aur bohot si medications hain jo iska lia kaafi effective hain. Aap kisi bhee acchha doctor sa iska treatment karwa lain. Iska treatment koi ziada complicated nahin hai. Your quality of life would significantly improve with proper treatment, inshallah.
I am impressed keh aap na mood scale complete kar lia. That's very nice. Agar koi bhee doubt ho to mujh say pooch lain. Otherwise, we can proceed to the next step in the CBT for depression.
Mein na abhee aap ko ooper bataya thaa keh yeh 2,3 days ka depressing period aap ka lia aik blessing in disguise ban sakta hai, agar aap isko aik learning experience ka tor par lain, for the second step of CBT.
Ok, so let's focus our attention on this second step. Iska lia aap ko sab say pehla yeh baat samajhna ho gee keh hamari thoughts aur feelings, jinko aksar log same cheez samajhta hain, woh actually do alag alag aur bilkul mukhtalif cheezain hain. Hamara zehan mein har waqt koi nah koi soch aati rehti hai, jisko scientific terms mein "automatic thoughts" kehta hain. Inn thoughts ko automatic thoughts iss lia kehta hain keh yeh thoughts almost apna aap hi hamare zehan mein aati rehti hain. Mein na almost ko bold mein iss lia mention kia keh yeh thoughts completely automatic nahin hotein, balkeh hamare zehan ka subconscious level say aati hain. Anyway, aap ka lia important baat yeh hai keh inn thoughts ki wajah say hamara mood par bohot significant asrat hota hain. Self confident logon mein yeh automatic thoughts positive nature ki hoti hain, aur iss lia unka mood bhee happy aur cheerful rehta hai. Magar depressed aur anxious logon mein yeh thoughts negative aur distorted ( reality say hat kar) hoti hain ( mein na shayad aap ko kuch din pehla cognitive distortions ka bataya thaa), aur inn negative thoughts ki wajah say depression aur anxiety ki feelings develop hoti hain.
Aap kay lia homework yeh hai keh aap na apna zehan mein aana waali inn negative thoughts ko recognize karna hai. Abhee jo 2,3 din ka depressed period aaya hai, uss mein aap ka zehan mein bohot si aisee negative thoughts aaie hon gee, jo shayed uss waqt aap na note nah ki hon, magar sirf unki wajah say jo depression create hoi, woh aap na feel zaroor ki ho gee.
Pareshaan nah hoon, yeh itna mushkil task nahin, kionkeh negative automatic thoughts sirf 8-10 different types ki hoti hain. Start mein aap sirf apni 4,5 automatic thoughts ko hee recognize kar lain, that would be enough. Mein aap ko inki main categories bata doon:
1. Focussing only on the negatives, and ignoring the positives ( also called filtering): For example, agar aap na 10 dishes banai, aur 9 bohot acchhe baneen, aur 1 kharab, to yeh negative soch ho gee keh aap apna aap ko aik bohot kharab cook consider karain gee, sirf aik kharab dish ka basis par, yeh baat ignore karta hoa keh 9 dishes aap na bohot acchhe banai theen.
2. Overgeneralization: Agar past mein aap say koi aik project yaa kaam ghalat ho gaya hai to yeh negative thoughts zehan mein aaie gee keh ainda hamesha hi ghalti ho gee, based upon this one past mistake.
3. Catastrophic thinking: jaisa keh naam sa zahir hai, iss negative thought mein ham apni kisi bhee choti sa choti ghalti ko bohot barra samajh laita hain, aur stress mein aa jaatay hain. For example agar aap ka boos yaa teacher na aap ko koi assignment di, aur aap sa uss mein choti sa ghalti ho gaee, to yeh samajhna keh iss ghalti ki wajah sa boss hamain fire kar day gaa etc.
4. Personalization: Iss negative thought mein ham aisee cheezon ka blame apna ooper lai laita hain jin mein hamara koi qusoor bhee nahin hota. For example, agar hamara parents kisi wajah say upset mood mein hain to yeh sochna keh zaroor ham say hi koi ghalti hoi ho gee, jiski wajah say yeh ghussa mein hain, aur phir bilawajah guilty aur stressed out feel karna.
5. All or nothing thinking: Isko black and white thinking bhee kehta hain. Iska matlab yeh hai keh ham cheezon, logon aur relationships ko unki extremes par daikhtay hain, yaani bohot acchhe yaa bohot kharaab. For example, agar hamara best friend say thorri si larrai ho jae to ham yeh samajhna lagta hain keh ab zindagi bhar hamari doosti nahin ho saktee.
Iska illawa bhee 5,6 different types ki automatic thoughts hain, magar abhee aap sirf inn 5 types ki thoughts ko hi recognize kar keh aik paper par likhna ki koshish karain. Aksar thoughts inn mein say sirf 1 hi category mein aaian gee, aur aksar aisee hon gee jo at the same time, inn mein say say 2,3 categories ka lia qualify kar lain gee. Iss lia iss baaray mein bohot ziada fikar nah karain keh falan thought kis category mein rakhoon.
Aap ka jo depressing period abhee guzra hai, uski thoughts aap ki memory mein fresh hon gee, Iss lia unko recognize karna bhee aasan ho gaa. Issi lia mein na kaha thaa keh yeh depressed episode aap ka lia blessing in disguise ho sakta hai, agar aap usko aik learning experience ka tor par lain aur uss waqt ki negative thoughts ko recognize kar lain.
Jiasa keh aik saying hai keh "A mistake is a mistake only if you don't learn from it." Successful logon ki pehchan yeh nahin keh woh ghaltian nahin kartay, balkeh unki asal pehchan yeh hai keh woh apni ghaltion sa seekhtay hain aur unko repeat nahin kartay.
Jab aap apni negative thoughts ko recognize karna seekh jaaian gee, to phir last step yeh ho gaa keh unn negative thoughts ko positive thoughts mein kaisa change kia jaaya
Mein na jo concepts aap ko bataye, yeh mushkil concepts hain, and I hope that I was able to explain them in a simple way. Phir bhee koi cheez samajh mein nah aaie ho to pooch lain.
As always, my prayers and best wishes for a life full of emotional happiness, peace and tranquility for you.
Please aapko sorry kehnay ki zaroorat nahi kuk mai achhi
terha se samajhti hon aap kitnay busy hongay meray lye yehi boht bari baat hay
k aap mujhay help out ker rahay hain.
Mai nay husband ko emotionally hurt kernay k baary mein jo
sawal kia tha ussko aap nay boht assan alfaaz mein samjha dia hay aur half
paragraph read kernay per hi mai samajh gayee thi.
Thank you so much for the appreciation J , nahi Sir! Mujhay
mood scale mein ab koi problem nahi sub samajh aa gaya hay laikn mujhay yeh poochna hay k kia mujhay
mood scale daily banana hay? Ya kai baar banana hay jub tak sahi practice na ho
jayey?
Aur aap nay jo negative automatic thoughts ki categories
bataye hain sub araam sey samajh mein aa gayee hain shayad isslye bhi kuk mujh
mein Catastrophic thinking, Personalization aur All or Nothing thinking boht
hay, mai aapki depression period ko as an opportunity use kernay wali baat ko
bhi samajh gayee houn usswaqt intense low mood mein zera mushkil hota hay laikn
InshaAllah yeh bhi asaan ho jaiga kuk iss mein mujhay aik chez kaafi help
karaigi aur woh hay yeh psychological effect k aap meri help ker rahay hain aur
mujhay ethically bhi aapko response daina hay werna last time depression mein
tou mujhay laga aap sy keh doun k meray saath ziada mehnat na karein mujh sey
yeh nahi honay waala. Waisay kal aik aur depressing phase aa ker guzar gaya
sirf 1 day ka tha shorter than the one before laikn boht takleef deh tha i had
to take anti-depressant when i really got mentally tired aur kal raat mai nay
socha k negative thinking sy behtar tha k mai practical step laiti tou itni
zehni aziat na hoti. kal mujhay ‘Personalization’ ,‘Catastrophic thinking’ aur
‘All or Nothing’ teeno qism ki negative thoughts aa rahi thin.kal mai yahi soch
rahi thi k ab bawajood depressed honay k mai yeh bhi sochny lagi houn k
effectively distorted thoughts(Ji Sir aap nay explain ker dia hay cognitive
distortions ko old posts mein) ko positive thoughts mein convert karon.i think
mai apni distorted thoughts ko identify ker sakti houn acoording to the types
of categories you just told.agar aap chahein tou mai apnay depressed mood ko
zehan mein rakhtay huay categorize ker k aapko bata bhi sakti hon. Kehnay ka
maqsad yeh hay k mai chati houn k ab aap mujhay inn negative thoughts ko positive
thoughts mein change kerna sikhayein please agar aapko lagta hay yeh sahi waqt
hay tou.
Thanks A lot for your precious time and valued response.I’m
Highly Indebted to you Sir.
May Allah Bless You And Your Family with Health,Success and
Long Life, Aamen Sum Aamen.
Please aapko sorry kehnay ki zaroorat nahi kuk mai achhi
terha se samajhti hon aap kitnay busy hongay meray lye yehi boht bari baat hay
k aap mujhay help out ker rahay hain.
Mai nay husband ko emotionally hurt kernay k baary mein jo
sawal kia tha ussko aap nay boht assan alfaaz mein samjha dia hay aur half
paragraph read kernay per hi mai samajh gayee thi.
Thank you so much for the appreciation J , nahi Sir! Mujhay
mood scale mein ab koi problem nahi sub samajh aa gaya hay laikn mujhay yeh poochna hay k kia mujhay
mood scale daily banana hay? Ya kai baar banana hay jub tak sahi practice na ho
jayey?
Aur aap nay jo negative automatic thoughts ki categories
bataye hain sub araam sey samajh mein aa gayee hain shayad isslye bhi kuk mujh
mein Catastrophic thinking, Personalization aur All or Nothing thinking boht
hay, mai aapki depression period ko as an opportunity use kernay wali baat ko
bhi samajh gayee houn usswaqt intense low mood mein zera mushkil hota hay laikn
InshaAllah yeh bhi asaan ho jaiga kuk iss mein mujhay aik chez kaafi help
karaigi aur woh hay yeh psychological effect k aap meri help ker rahay hain aur
mujhay ethically bhi aapko response daina hay werna last time depression mein
tou mujhay laga aap sy keh doun k meray saath ziada mehnat na karein mujh sey
yeh nahi honay waala. Waisay kal aik aur depressing phase aa ker guzar gaya
sirf 1 day ka tha shorter than the one before laikn boht takleef deh tha i had
to take anti-depressant when i really got mentally tired aur kal raat mai nay
socha k negative thinking sy behtar tha k mai practical step laiti tou itni
zehni aziat na hoti. kal mujhay ‘Personalization’ ,‘Catastrophic thinking’ aur
‘All or Nothing’ teeno qism ki negative thoughts aa rahi thin.kal mai yahi soch
rahi thi k ab bawajood depressed honay k mai yeh bhi sochny lagi houn k
effectively distorted thoughts(Ji Sir aap nay explain ker dia hay cognitive
distortions ko old posts mein) ko positive thoughts mein convert karon.i think
mai apni distorted thoughts ko identify ker sakti houn acoording to the types
of categories you just told.agar aap chahein tou mai apnay depressed mood ko
zehan mein rakhtay huay categorize ker k aapko bata bhi sakti hon. Kehnay ka
maqsad yeh hay k mai chati houn k ab aap mujhay inn negative thoughts ko positive
thoughts mein change kerna sikhayein please agar aapko lagta hay yeh sahi waqt
hay tou.
Thanks A lot for your precious time and valued response.I’m
Highly Indebted to you Sir.
May Allah Bless You And Your Family with Health,Success and
Long Life, Aamen Sum Aamen.
Group: Members Joined: 04th Mar, 2011 Topic: 11 Post: 1222 Age:
33
Posted on:25th Dec 2012, 2:46am
GullRukh:
Salam Alaikum!
Once again, thanks for holding me in such high esteem. And as always, you are very welcome, indeed.
Aur mein aap ko yeh bhee kehna chahon gaa keh mein really impressed hon keh aap yeh tamam difficult concepts itna jaldi aur easily samajh gaeen. This basically means........yes, you guessed it right, that I am a good teacher....lolzzz :) Nahin nahin, mein aap sa mazaaq kar raha hoon, what I really mean to tell you is that you are mashallah a very smart person, because generally, it takes a lot of time to understand and master these concepts.
Iss waqt tak aap CBT ka almost 65% concepts samajh chuki hain, which is very good. Ab aap ko sirf last step samajhna hai, how to change our mood by changing our negative thoughts to positive thoughts.
Aap ko mood scale daily paper par banana ki zaroorat nahin, agar aap ka zehan mein mood scale ka concept aa gaya hai, than that's sufficient. Abhee mein aap ko yeh last step aur mood scale ka use aik example ka zarye samjha doon gaa, jis say aap ko yeh last step ki basics samajh aa jaaian gee, aur further details uska baad batata rahoon gaa as needed.
Ok, so lets move on to our final step by looking at this example!
Aik person ha jo generally happy rehta hai, with a normal life. Uska mood generally speaking 7 par hota hai ( most of the time). Aik din usko patah chalta hai keh uski job khatam ho gaee, becaues of company downsizing. Ab yeh khabar sun kar naturally uska mood low ho jae gaa, for example 3 par aa jae gaa. Ab kionkeh iss person kay andar positive thinking hai, iss lia woh yeh socha gaa keh even though yeh bohot bura hoa keh meri job chali gae, magar mera paas education aur experience hai, mein koshish karoon gaa to jald hi mujha koi acchhe job mil jae gee. Ab iss positive thinking ki wajah say uska mood 3 say lift ho kar approx 5 par aa jae gaa ( still lower than his initial mood, but much better than his initial shock).
Ab yehi example aik aisa person ka lia consider karain jiski aadat hai negative thinking . Apni negative thinking ki wajah say generally iss person ka mood 5 par rehta hai, magar job say fire hona ki khabar sunta hi uska mood 2 paar aa jaata hai, magar baat yaheen par khatam nahin hoti. That's when the real trouble begins. Ab uski negative thinking start hoti hai. For example personalizaton: Mujha fire down sizing ki wajah say nahin kia gaya, yaqeenan mein na koi ghalti ki ho gee issi lia mujha fire kia gaya ( self blame). Issi tarah catastrophic thinking: Meri job khatam ho gaee, ab dunya mera lia khatam hai. I would much rather be dead. Issi tarah aik aur common negative automatic thought uska zehan mein aaie gee, callled Predicting The Future: Kionkeh mein iss job say fire kar dia gaya hoon, iss lia mujha yaqeen hai keh agar future mein mujha koi doosri job milli bhee, to mein zaroor zaroor uss say bhee nikal diya jaon gaa. Abb inn tamam negative thoughts ka baad uska mood 2 say bhee down ho kar 0 par aa jae gaa.
Yeh hai the power of our thinking. Hamari thoughts agar positive hon gee to hamara mood ko uplift karain gee, even inspite of our circumstances; on the contrary, agar hamari thoughts negative hoon gee to hamara mood aur ziada sad aur depressed ho gaa. Kehna ka matlab yeh keh hamara mood 2 cheezon par depend karta hai, haalat aur hamari soch. Circumstances par hamara full control nahin hota, magar atleast apni soch ko negative say positive bana kar ham apna mood improve kar saktay hain, jaisa ooper ki first example mein bataya. Doosri taraf agar hamari soch negative ho gee to hamara haalat ki wajah sa jo initial setback ho gaa, usko ham apni negative soch say apna lia aur ziada kharab kar lain gay.
Ab sawal yeh hai keh yeh person apni negative soch ko kaisa change karay. Uska lia sab say pehla iss person ko apni negative soch ko identify karna ho gaa, aur yeh daikhna ho gaa keh iss negative soch ka saath uska mood kis level par hai ( using the mood scale). Phir usko yeh karna ho gaa keh apni negative soch ka khilaf fight back karna ho gaa, by trying to come up with a more realistic thought.
For example personalization ki negative soch ka khilaf woh yeh realistic argument banaya gaa keh company down size kar rahee hai, aur bhee kae employee nikala jaa chuka hain jo acchha kaam kar rahay thay, iss lia yeh mera qusoor nahin keh mujha fire kia gaya. Iss soch kay saath uska self blame khatam ho jae gaa, and he would feel better.
Issi tarah catastrophic thinking ki example ka khilaaf woh argue karay gaa keh theek hai meri job chali gaee, but that is not the end of the world. Ho saktay ha kuch arsa finacial problems face karnee parrain, magar chances yehi hain keh mein koi aur job talash kar loon gaa. Iss thought ka saath saath uski hopelessness kam ho jae gee aur mood behtar ho jae gaa.
Predicting The Future ( also called fortune telling) ki negative thoughts ko woh iss tarah fight back kar sakta hai keh theek hai, meri yeh job chali gaee, magar iska yeh matlab nahin keh mujha future mein kabhee koi aur job nahin mila gee. Mein educated aur experienced hoon, koi nah koi company mujha zaroor hire kar lay gee ( resulting in further improvement in mood).
Negative thoughts ko positive thoughts mein change karna complicated zaroor hai, magar practice ka saath yeh cheez easily seekhi jaa saktee hai. Mein aap ko ko further uski details ka baaray mein bataon gaa, abhee mein na aap ko sirf iski basic outline di.
Ok, I gotta go now. I hope that what I explained to you made some sense. I certainly would explain to you more about how to change our negative thoughts into positive ones, but I hope that you got the gist of it.
Learning CBT is a rather complex task, requiring weeks of sessions, or readings books that are several hundred pages long. I have tried to summarize the key points and concepts for you, and, once again ,I must say that you have done a heck of a job in understanding them so quickly. My hats off to you. Please give yourself a pat on your back, because you deserve it :)
I would also like to tell you that me encouraging you is one thing, but it would mean so much more to you if you did it to yourself. Please never, ever, belittle yourself, and never let go of any opportunity to give yourself praise; that's how you will build your self esteem, a basic building block for a healthy psyche.
Practice what I told you, and I would continue to fine tune your newly acquired skills. These strategies are helpful not only for the treatment of depression, but also help you change your way of thinking which would be helpful for you in a variety of ways, including interpersonal relationships and help you become a more assertive person as well.
Whenever you are ready, I would teach you CBT for anxiety as well.
I’m Sorry mai aapko late response day rahi houn kuk aajkal
shadi ki preparations mein boht thakan hogayee hay aur masroofiat ki wajah sy
time nahi mil raha.Aapka shukria adaa kernay ko dil bhi kerta hay phir samajh
nahi aati k kasy karoun kuk aap jitney khuloos sy mujhay self-help k lye tayyar
ker rahay hain mai chahtay hua bhi proper words mein aapko thanks nahi keh pa
rahi laikin Aap k lye aur aapki family k lye dua zaroor maangti hon.
Doosri baat ye he k aap nay bilkul sahi kaha No Doubt k aap
teacher boht achhay hain islye mai sub jaldi pick ker laity houn,Aur mai khud
bhi boht intelligent hon Alhamdolillah k mujhay sub aik hi baar mei samajh aa
jaata hay(aapki mehnat zaya nahi gayee kuk mai apnay lye ki gayee tareef ko
accept kerna seekh gayee hon J
). And yes, I Did pat myself on my back n it felt really good not shallow as
before.pehlay mujhay mushkil lagta tha aisa kerna koshish kerti thi k apni
tareef karon achhay kamo k lye laikn mujhay ridiculous sa lagta tha iss baar
nahi laga aur mai samajhti hon yeh sirf aapki wajah sy possible hua,Haan! First
step mai nay lia tha self improvement ki taraf laikn aap nay boht ziada
affectionately encourage kia J
Aik aur positive improvement batana chahti hon Aapko Woh yeh
k aaj mai boht ziada thak gayee hon both mentally and physically,start mein
thora sa panic huee phir khud ko relax kia laikin mujhay tension start hogayee
k shadi tak ya issk baad sub kia hoga? Phir mujhay ghussa aanay laga ghar walo
ko blame kernay lagi kuch dair baad mai nay feel kia k mai sad honay lagi
hon.tub mujhay laga k mai apni negative thoughts ko check karon aur positive
mein change karon, i tried and it worked Alhamdolillah And again Thanks a lot
for helping me.
Meray saath bara masla yeh bhi hay k mujhay jub lagta hay k
kisi doosray ko bhi kissi kaam sey takleef ya pareshani hogi tou mai tok deti
hon ya tension laity hon k koi beemaar na ho jaye waghaira waghaira.Tub ulta
log mujh sey khafa ho jaatay hain halaank mai unkay bhalay ki baat ker rahi
hoti hon.mujhay iss mislay ko control kerna nahi aata jub mai ignore kernay ki
koshish kerti hon yeh soch ker k her koi mature hay apna achha bura samajh
sakta hay tou mujhay lagta hay k mai selfish aur mean hon? Ab aisi thought ka
kia karon?Iss baarey mein Please mujhay zaroor guide karein kuk maujhay boht
takleef hoti hay yeh soch soch ker k falaan banda thak jaiga ya beemar ho jaiga
aur koi doosra beemar ho na ho mai beemaar ho jaati hon? Normal log kia kertay
hain ya kia soch hoti hay unki i just fail to understand.
Aap her chez kaafi simple tareeqa say samjhatay hain taak
mai thoray waqt mein basic aur important chezein samajh jaoun aur Alhamdolillah
mujh mein improvement bhi aayee hay baaki aapko ziada andaaza hoga k mera
stress level meri first post k comparison mein kitna kam hua hay?doosra Aap nay
CBT for anxiety sikhanay ka kaha hay jub mai prepare hon iss k lye tou InshaAllah
mai zaroor seekhongi.
Aap nay jo bhi samjhaya apni previous post mein sub samajh aa gaya hay ab aapki next post ka wait karoungi kuk aapnay bataya tha k aap mazeed sikhayengay.
Aapki best wishes aur encouragement ka boht shukria.May Allah Bless You with Everthing Good in this life and HereAfter,Aamee.
Group: Members Joined: 04th Mar, 2011 Topic: 11 Post: 1222 Age:
33
Posted on:1st Jan 2013, 10:54pm
GullRukh:
Salam Alaikum,
Sorry keh aap ko itna late reply kar raha hoon.
Congratulations on your upcoming marriage. Aray aray, no need to say thanks :) Aap na help ki request ki thee, and it was my obligation to help you. Aur duaon say barrh kar kia thanks ho sakta hai. Bas aap ki duaian chahyein.
Mujha bohot khushi hai keh aap apna aap ko woh credit dena lagee hain jo aap deserve kartee hain. This is a very important step towards building your self esteem. Just as our body requires nourishment from the food we eat, our self esteem requires admiration and praise, from others, but even more importantly, form our own selves. I am glad that you have learned to praise yourself, and believe me, this will go a long way towards helping you gain self confidence and boost your self esteem, and will become a strong antidote to the toxic effects of negative thoughts and depression.
Negative thoughts ko recognise karna ka best tareeqa yeh hai keh jab bhee aap apna mood mein koi significant change feel karain ( yaani down feel karain), to foran apni thoughts ko evaluate karain, kionkeh negative mood ka peecha hamesha koi nah koi negative thought zaroor hoti hai. Aur mujha khushi hai keh aap na iss cheez ki practice karnee shorow kar dee hai, aur iska positive aur encouraging results bhee daikhna shorow kar dia hain. I am very happy for you indeed :)
Aap na jo question poocha keh aap doosron ki help aur wellbeing ki fikar karna mein khud ko pareshaan kar laitee hain, aur yeh keh aap ko samajh nahin aata keh iss cheez ko kaisa handle karain, iska lia kuch suggestions hain. Pehli baat to yeh keh doosron ki wellbeing ki fikar karna bohot acchhe baat hai, magar jis tarah kehta hain keh excess of everything is bad, issi tarah aap iss cheez ko extreme tak lai jaatee hain, jiski wajah say in the end aur kisi ko to koi nuqsaan nahin pohonchta, magar aap khud guilt aur self blame ka shikar ho jaati hain. Yeh situation bhee aap ki negative automatic thoughts ki wajah say hi hee. For example, yeh sochna keh agarfalan shaks koi kaam kar raha hai aur mein na ussa mana nahin kia to woh bemaar ho jae gaa yaa apna koi bohot barra nuqsaan kar lai gaa, yeh catastrophic thinking ki example hai. Yaani aap uss shaks ko pohonchna waala nuqsaan ko over estimate karna lagtee hain. aik example daita hoon. Agar koi blind person road par aa jae to yaqeenan uss ki help karnee chahya, otherwise he can get killed. Magar I am sure keh jis tarah ki situations ki baat aap kar rahee hain, jis mein aap ko darr hota hai keh agar aap na usko nahin roka to uss shaks ka nuqsaan ho jae gaa, in reality aap uss nuqsaan ko oversetimate kar rahee hoti hain ( catastrophic thinking), aur phir iska baad second negative automatic thought jo aap ka zehan mein aati hai, woh personalization hoti hai, jis mein aap apna aap ko unnecessarily blame karna lagtee hain, kisi aisee cheez ki responsibility accept kar keh jis mein aap ka koi qusoor bhee nahin hota. Does that make sense? Apni unrealistic thoughts ko realistic bana kar aap apni iss problem ko bhee solve kar lain gee, inshallah. Does it make sense what I just explained to you?
Mujha definitely yeh lagta hai, based upon what you are telling me, keh aap cbt ka basic conepts aur principles ko nah sirf samajh gaee hain, balkeh inko implement bhee karna lagee hain, aur inki wajah say aap mein improvement bhee aa rahee hai. Aap na mujh say poocha keh mujh ziada andaza ho gaa keh aap mein improvement aaie keh nahin, magar mein iska lia yehi kahoon gaa keh mera batana say aap ko itna faida nahin ho gaa, aap yeh sawal khud apna aap sa poochain keh aap ka mood mein negative thoughts ko positive thoughts mein change karna sa kitni improvement aati hai, by using the mood scale. Jab aap apna mood ko apni negative thought ka saath evaluate karain gee, aur phir jab aap apni neg thought ko positive thought mein change kar keh phir apna mood reevaluate karain gee, to jo improvement aap ko nazar aaie gee uski wajah say aap ka confidence level barrhay gaa keh aap apna mood ko improve karna ki taqat rakhtee hain. Aur phir aap aur bhee ziada mehnat say apni negative thoughts ko positive mein change karna lagain gee, because you will be seeing instantaneous results.
Aik bohot important concept aur samajh lain. Apni negative thoughts ko positive thoughts mein change karna ka yeh matlab nahin keh aap apni neg automatic thoughts ko unrealistic positive thoughts mein change kar dain, balkeh positive thoughts have to be realistic as well, otherwise unrealistic positive thoughts are almost as bad as negative thoughts. Iss concept ko samjhna ka lia mein na aap ko kuch din pehla jo job say fire hona waali example di thee, usko dobarah parrh lain. Aap dakhain gee keh mein nay uss person ki negative thoughts ka badla mein usko reality based thoughts batai theen, unrealistic positive thoughts nahin batai theen. I hope you understood what I just explained.
Mein next aap ko kuch self esteem building exercises bataon gaa, which I hope you would find very useful. Aur anxiety ki CBT strategies bhee jab aap kahain gee, mein aap ko zaroor sikhaon gaa, as promised.
Mujha bohot khushi hai keh apni depression aur anxiety ka khilaf haar manna ka bajae aap na apna aap ko inn cheezon say fight karna ka decision lia. Yeh bohot courage ki baat thee jiska lia aap ki jitni tareef ki jae kam hai. I am very glad that you want to be in control of your emotions, rather than allowing your emotions to control your life.
Once again, thank you so much for your prayers and appreciation. Its' my pleasure to be of some help to you.
Aapko Sorry kernay ki zaroorat nahi kuk mai jaanti hon aap
busy hongay tabhi late response dia.
Thanks a lot for Congratulating me J Aapki guidance ki wajah sy ab
mai apnay depression specially apnay behavioural problems k baaray
mein ziada paraishan nahi kuk mujhay samajh aa gayee hay k masla kia hay
agarcha mai jaanti hon k apnay moods ko theek rakhnay mein mujhay apnay saath
kaafi mehnat kerna paraigi laikn iss baat ki tasalli bhi hay jaisa k aap nay
bhi kaha k instant results miltay hain negative thoughts ko check mein rakh ker
positive thoughts men convert kernay sey tou yeh chez kaafi encouraging hay.
Yes, i have got your point.mai buss type of cognitive
distortion ko pick nahi ker paa rahi thi jo k aap nay bata di; aik catastrophic
thinking aur doosri personalization.meray lye yeh zera mushkil hoga laikn mai
InshaAllah overcome ker longi.
Thank you so much for appreciation J.aap nay sahi kaha k mujhay
khud daikhna chahye k mujh mein kitni improvement aayee hay tou mujhay yaqeen
hay k meray level of self-respect mein kaafi improvement aayee hay agarcha abhi
mazeed improvement ki zaroorat hay laikn jaisa k aap nay bhi kaha aur mujhay
bhi lagta hay jitna mai positive thoughts ko in practice laoungi aur positive
results milaingay utna hi mera confidence barhaiga Insha Allah.
Ji Bilkul mai iss baat ko samajhti hon k mujhay negative
thoughts ko RATIONAL aur REALISTIC positive
thoughts mein convert kerna hay werna ulta depression barh jaiga.Thanks yeh
important point highlight kernay k lyay.
Sir! Please mujhay self esteem building exercises aur CBT
strategies for anxiety zaroor sikhayein,i’ll be anxiously waiting for your next
post in order to learn more from Your goodself.aap jub bhi mujh sey poochtay
hain k mai aapko mazeed so and so techniques sikhaounga agar aap kahain, tou
mujhay ajeeb laalach si hoti hay k sub aik saath sikha dain mujh sey sabar hi
nahi hota J
Thank you so much for your precious time and consideration Sir. And
you are most welcome J
i’ll always remember you and your loved ones in my prayers Insha Allah.
Group: Members Joined: 04th Mar, 2011 Topic: 11 Post: 1222 Age:
33
Posted on:4th Jan 2013, 11:11pm
GullRukh:
Salam Alaikum!
Kaisee hain aap?
"aap jub bhi mujh sey poochtay hain k mai aapko mazeed so and so techniques sikhaounga agar aap kahain, tou mujhay ajeeb laalach si hoti hay k sub aik saath sikha dain mujh sey sabar hi nahi hota"
:) :) :) Mein aap ki baat samajh sakta hoon, aur yaqeen karain agar possible hota to mein aap ko aik saath hi sab kuch sikha deta, magar aik to yeh keh itni saari cheezain aik hi waqt mein batana bohot mushkil balkeh almost impossible hai, aur second yeh keh agar mein aap ko yeh sab aik hi waqt mein bata bhee doon to mera khayal hai keh jaldi jaldi seekhna mein agar aap na koi concept sahih sa nahin seekha to aap ko aagay ka tamam steps mein bhee pareshaani ho gee. Iss lia mera yehi khayal hai keh aap ka lia ziada beneficial yehi hai keh slowly seekhain, magar properly seekhain, for maximum benefits. Aur jahan tak yeh baat keh aap sa sabar hi nahin hota, to yeh to aap na suna hi ho gaa keh sabar ka phal meetha hota hai :) Anyway, mein promise karta hoon keh ab say mein aap ko jaldi jaldi reply daina ki koshish karoon gaa, agar possible hoa to daily bhee... Ok? Khush? :)
Ok, so let's get to business.
Anxiety ki CBT start karta hain. Aur uska lia sab say pehla aap ko anxiety reduce karna ki aik bohot effective exercise sikhata hoon, jisko Desensitization kehta hain. Iss exercise ko describe karna sa pehla mein aap ko anxiety ka baaray mein aik general framework day doon. Agar hamain kisi cheez sa yaa situation say darr lagta hai, to jab ham uss situation mein hon gaa to hamari anxiety increase hona start ho jae gee, aur within a few minutes, apni peak par pohonch jae gee, aur uss waqt panic attack jaisa symptoms hoon gaa, including rapid heart beat, sweating, shaking, breathing difficulty, lump in throat, gala khushk hona, chest pain, aisee feeling keh heart attack ho raha hai, yaa iss tarah feel karna keh ham apna control loose kar rahay hain etc etc.
Jin logon ko panic disorder, phobias yaa doosra anxiety disorders hota hain, woh yehi symptoms experience karta hain. Iss extreme anxiety ki situation mein hamara natural response yeh hota hai keh ham uss anxiety provoking situation sa door bhaag jaaian. For example agar kisi person ko spider phobia hai, aur uska saamna spider laaie jae, to usko panic attack ho jae gaa, aur phir woh person foran hi spider sa door bhaag jae gaa, aur uska panic attack khatam ho jae gaa. Bazahir uss nay apni anxiety door kar li, magar uss ka dil ka andar spider ka jo khof thaa woh apni jagah rahay gaa. Ab just for the sake of experiment, yeh samajh lain keh iss person ko kisi na zabardasti chair sa baandh dia aur phir iska bilkul saamna spider ko laaie. Iss person ko panic attack ho gaa, iski haalat kharab ho jae gee, taqreeban 10 minutes usko panic attack ka symptoms rahain gai, aur phir ahista ahista yeh panic attack ka symptoms door ho jaaian gaa, even though spider uska saamna hi mojod ho gee. Mein iss example ka zarye aap ko yeh samjhana chahta hoon keh anxiety waali situation ko agar ham kuch minutes tak kisi nah kisi tarah bbardasht kar lain aur bhagain nahin, to within a few minutes anxiety khud hi burn out ho jae gee. Next time jab iss person ka saamna spider aaie ge to usko spider say itna dar nahin laga gaa, aur phir uska baad next time jab spider nazar aaie gee to uska daar aur kam ho jae gaa aur phir 2,3 times ka andar andar uska spider phobia khatam ho jae gaa. This is called desensitization, and this is the best cure for anxiety.
Ok, pareshan nah hoon, mein aap ka ooper koi aisa zulm nahin karoon gaa, lolzzz... balkeh aap ko iss treatment ka aik aisa version doon gaa jo equally effective hai, aur bohot ziada easy bhee. It's called In Vitro Desensitization. Iss procedure mein bhee apni feared situation ko face karna hota hai, magar reality mein nahin, imagination mein. So this is what I want you to do:
Unn situations ki list banain jin mein aap ko anxiety feel hoti hai, for example inlaws say baat karna, yaa woh situation jis mein aap ko koi criticize waghira kar raha ho. Yeh situation aisee honi chayein jis mein aap ko shadeed anxiety feel hoti hai, like a panic attack. Ab aik comfortable chair par beth jaain, yaa bed par lait jaain, in a quiet room with no noice etc. Ab aap na iss situation ko visualize karna hai ( imagine karna hai), aur jitna clearly kar saktee hain, karain. Aap sahih say visualize kar rahee hain, iski pehchan yeh ho gee keh jis tarah uss situation mein reality mein aap ka andar anxiety feel ho rahee thee, issi tarah correct way mein visualize karna say bhee aap ka andar anxiety develop hona shorow ho jae gee. DO NOT TRY TO TAKE YOUR MIND AWAY TO REDUCE YOUR ANXIETY. INSTEAD, I WANT YOU TO CONTINUE TO EXPERIENCE THIS ANXIETY TO THE FULLEST. Aap ko feel ho gaa keh aap ki heartbeat taiz ho rahee hai, breathing shallow aur fast ho rahee hai, shakiness develop ho rahee hai, panic attack jaisa symptoms aa raha hain etc etc. Apni anxiety ko fully feel karain, aur apni anxiety sa hargiz hargiz bhee door nah bhagain. Within a few minutes, aap ki anxiety kam hona shorow ho jae gee, aur phir kuch minutes baad bilkul khatam ho jae gee. Agar aap 2,3 martaba yeh cheez successfully complete kar laitee hain, to next time jab aap reality mein yeh situation face karain gee to aap ki anxiety almost nah hona ka barabar ho gee, yaani aap na apna dil say uss situation ka fear door kar lia ho gaa, through desensitization. I hope you understood what i explained, now try to practice it just as I told you. And remember, no cheating, imagine the situation very vividly and clearly, so that you are actually feeling the anxiety, and then don't run away from your anxiety by shifting your attention to something else, instead wait for the anxiety to subside on it's own.
Abhee aap iss cheez ko properly practice karain aur mujha batain, then I will tell you more.
Self esteem build up karna ka lia aik piece of paper lain, aur uss par apni atleast 10-15 positive qualities likhain, chaha woh aap ka appearance ka baaray mein hoon, yaa aap ki kind nature ka baaray mein, yaa aap ka koi special talent, yaa cooking abilities, or anything positive. Jab yeh aap likh lain to phir isko apna room mein aisee jagah lagaa dain, jahan din mein kae jagah aap ki nazar iss parr parray. For example, you can attach it to your dresser mirror etc . Atleast din mein 3 martaba iss list ko itni awaz say read karain keh you can hear yourself. Aur phir jab raat ko sona laitain to phir aik martaba iss list ko parrhain. Try this, it's very simple, yet very effective. And I will tell you more.
Ok, I gotta go now. Practice what I told you, and let me know how it went.
All the best! And thank you once again for your prayers and kind words.
Allah ka shukar hay mai bilkul theek hon aur depression bhi kaafi kam hay bus
aik masla ho raha hai aur wo yeh k maira koi kaam karnay ko dil nahi chahta ab
pata nahi yeh depression ki wajah sy hay ya pichlay dino tabiat thek nahi thi
usski wajah say hay.baaki sub theek hay mai chezo ko kaafi positively lai rahi
hon Alhamdolillah.
Thank You Sooooo Much Aap k promise k lyay laikn Maira yeh
matlab nahi tha k Aap apnay zaroori kaam chor ker daily ya jaldi jaldi reply
post karain.Mujhay jaldi sirf iss lyay thi k meri shadi jald hi honay wali hay
isslyay mai jaldi sub seekhna chahti thi kuk mujhay nahi pata k mai aglay
kitnay dino tak internet use nahi kar paoungi.laikn jaisay hi shadi k baad
masroofiat sy farigh hongi mai feedback zaroor doungi k Aap nay jo Anxiety k
lyay CBT technique batayee hay aur jo self esteem building exercise hay usska
kia impact raha.mai kuch arsa yahan baat tou nahi kar paoungi laikn Insha Allah
yeh dono techniques zaroor try karongi.Aap nay hamesha ki terha har chez boht
hi asaan lafzo mein samjhai hay aur important baatein mai nay note kr li hain
mai cheating nahi karoungi jaisa Aap nay bataya hay waisa hi karoungi kuk i want
results jo tub hi milaingay jub mai aapki instructions properly and honestly
follow karoun.
Once Again Thank You Very Much For Your Precious Time and Guidance
J May Allah Bless You with Health,Success Love and Long Life Aamen
Sum Aamen.
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msha Allah