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| sadaf_cool |
Group: Members
Joined: 29th Oct, 2009
Topic: 2
Post: 6
Age: 21
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| Posted on:29th Oct 2009, 2:27am |
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 Wedding Night Fears: I Have Not Done Any Thing Till Now?
Asalam-0-Alaikum
meri shadi ko srif ten days howai hain or main nai kuch b nahi kya hai apnai husband k saat even k main nai un ko touch b nahi karnai deya apnai aap ko bcoz meri friends kehti thi k bohat pain ho ga or muje itna kuch pata b nahi hai k kya karna hota hai .Mere husband to kehtain hain k kuch b nahi ho ga per muje ye hi khyal ata hai k bohat pain hoga and my friends told me that k bleeding b hogi
So tell me k muje kya karna hoga or wo to ab muj sa baat b nahi kartai
I got married ten days back and I have done nothing from wedding night till so far with my husband. Even I didn't allowed him to touch me, since my friends say that alot of pain happens. Also I don't know a lot about what should be done. My husband says that nothing would happen, However I am in fear very much. My friends told me that bleeding would also happen. |
| Azfar-K |
Group: Members
Joined: 02nd Mar, 2009
Topic: 6
Post: 627
Age: 62
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| Posted on:29th Oct 2009, 3:04am |
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re: ap ki friend ne apko darra dia hai bas,agar pain bearable nahi hota to apki friend abhi hospital main dard se tarap rahi hotin :P
Pain hota hai start main par phir ahista hista pleasure feel hone lagta hai,ap apne husband par reham karein 10 days hogaye or apni physical relationship start karein.koi problem nahi hogi Allah reham karega.
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| lubnamalik |
Group: Members
Joined: 01st Jun, 2009
Topic: 27
Post: 708
Age: 21
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| Posted on:29th Oct 2009, 3:30am |
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sadaf_cool app apni friend ki batoon mai a ker apni shadi shuda zindagi kharab na karain apny kaha k app k husband apse baat b nahi ker rahey app galat ker rahi hn shuroo k kuch din pain hota hai lykin itna nahi k bardash na ho app allah talah ka naam le ker apni naye zandagi start karo kuch b nahi hoga |
| stranger_1 |
Group: Members
Joined: 15th Oct, 2009
Topic: 1
Post: 53
Age: 29
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| Posted on:29th Oct 2009, 9:39am |
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Dear Sister, it's WRONG! Sister you are doing wrong, very wrong, you are trying to destroy your relation with your husband in the very early stages i.e. just after marriage. Sexual intercourse is very pleasurable for both men and women, there is no problem at all. This is a natural phenomenon and every human being is involved in it, you need not to worry at all and let your husband do anything which he likes while staying the limits of religion. You will get a bit of pain the first time you will do intercourse, but it will not be unbearable, it will be just a minor pain which will be gone after few minutes.
Furthermore, the woman does not have the right to refuse her husband, rather she must respond to his request every time he calls her, so long as that will not harm her or keep her from doing an obligatory duty.
Al-Bukhaari (3237) and Muslim (1436) narrated that Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “If a man calls his wife to his bed and she refuses, and he spends the night angry with her, the angels curse her until morning.”
If she refuses with no excuse, she is disobeying and is being defiant (nushooz), and he is no longer obliged to spend on her and clothe her.
The husband should admonish her and remind her of the punishment of Allaah, and forsake her in her bed. He also has the right to hit her, in a manner that does not cause injury. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“As to those women on whose part you see ill-conduct, admonish them (first), (next) refuse to share their beds, (and last) beat them (lightly, if it is useful); but if they return to obedience, seek not against them means (of annoyance). Surely, Allaah is Ever Most High, Most Great”
[al-Nisa’ 4:34]
Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allaah have mercy on him) was asked what a husband should do if his wife refuses him when he asks for intimacy.
He replied:
It is not permissible for her to rebel against him or to withhold herself from him, rather if she refuses him and persists in doing so, he may hit her in a manner that does not cause injury, and she is not entitled to spending or a share of his time [in the case of plural marriage].” Majmoo’ al-Fataawa, 32/279.
And he was asked about a man who has a wife who is rebellious and refuses intimacy – does she forfeit the right to maintenance and clothing, and what should she do?
He replied:
She forfeits her right to maintenance and clothing if she does not let him be intimate with her. He has the right to hit her if she persists in being defiant. It is not permissible for her to refuse intimacy if he asks for that, rather she is disobeying Allaah and His Messenger (by refusing). In al-Saheeh it says: “If a man calls his wife to his bed and she refuses, the One Who is in heaven will be angry with her until morning comes.”
From Majmoo’ al-Fataawa, 32/278. The hadeeth was narrated by Muslim, 1736.
So the wife should be admonished first, and warned against defiance (nushooz) and of the anger of Allaah and the curse of the angels. If she does not respond, then the husband should forsake her in her bed, and if she does not respond to that, then he may hit her in a manner that does not cause injury. If none of these steps are effective, then he may stop spending on her maintenance and clothing, and he has the right to divorce her or to allow her to separate from him by khula’ in return for some financial settlement, such as giving up the mahr.
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| rafaz |
Group: Members
Joined: 15th Mar, 2007
Topic: 16
Post: 739
Age: 48
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| Posted on:29th Oct 2009, 9:47am |
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@ SADAF Dont worry sadaf be cool every women in the world normally get married when the times is come ,dont worry be patient you feel very very happy when your loving husband donig sex to u and then after your dreams comes true and your heart becomes day by day love to your husband abd you love sex
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| H/dr_Qasim |
Group: Members
Joined: 29th Nov, 2008
Topic: 116
Post: 2114
Age: 31
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| Posted on:29th Oct 2009, 10:30am |
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sadaf kali zuban can give u a good answer |
| Waterr |
Group: Moderators
Joined: 15th Jul, 2009
Topic: 46
Post: 2519
Age:
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| Posted on:29th Oct 2009, 11:22pm |
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Lack Of Sex Education And Fear Of First Night Goes Hand In Hand hamari society ka problem ye ha k hum co-education mai apney children ko parhana mayoob naai samajhtey ...... hum ye mayoob nai samajhtey ke functions pe mix gathering ho .... hum apney ghar mai cable with all type of channels lagana .... ya indian movies lana bhe mayoob nai samjhatey
magar ye mayoob samajhatey hain key apney bachon ko sex education dee jayee jo bohat zarori ha aur islam bhe support karta he
islamic way ye ha k jub child 5years ka ho jayey tou usko ye batana he k apne parents ke kamarey mai jab bhe ana ho knock kar ke ana hey
jab 7years ka ho tou ye batana he k raat ko soney ke baad aur subah fajar se pehley sawaeey ashad zaroorat ke apney parents ke kamaarey mai nai ana
and jab wo puberty reach karey tou usko thora bohat ye bataya jayey k joo changes aa raei han woh kyun hain...
aur baqii islamic ayah and ahadees se bohat sari education dee ja sakti ha takey koi misconception ya sex perversion paida na ho...
yahan 2 hey zareeye hain sex education ke
1) media.........jo k har cheez glamorous,rosy and polluted deekhata he
2)gossiping friends.......jin jo kuch galat ya sahe pata ho apna ilm jharney ko batatey hain
best source apkey parents(for females mother) hain aur apkee married sisters...
shadi ke time agar ap apni confusion ka unn se ziqar kartii tou woh apko zaroor thora bohat acha sa guide kar daitiiii
cousins and friends chaheye married hon apko sahee nai bataieen gee ya unka style naheee theek hoga
ab daikhain ye kaisee friends hain jinho neyy apke married life tabah karneyy mai koi kasar naii choreee........ apkey husband yaqeenan aik cooperative insaan han jinho ne apko aram see samjhaya hee aur abhe sirf baat bundd ke ha ghar wapis naheee bheejaa
pain ke subb se bari reason anxiety and fear of intercourse ha...phir lack of comfort level with partner ha....
apkee husband ney apko kaha k aisa kuch nai hoga........ tou ap unpee trust karoo nahe hoga..... unko proper education hogeee..... aur apney kya karna heyyy tou best ye haa k apko ye suggestions hain
1) just relaxx yourself and think its very natural and every muslim woman who gets marry do it
2)its okeyy to be shyy rather its good....but atleast allow him to touch you....10days are too much ...atleast he will touch you and you will be relaxed okey
3) in start or intnitial days female is supposed and has to be a passive partner so let your husband do whatever he does and donot think its a painful thing...it is not....
4)you need to know sex in menses and anal sex is not allowed in islam that is it
5)as the time passes just see or ask what your husband likes.....what he wants you to do and then just do that ....
6)if you are confused rite now discuss shyly with your husband in detail or else with own mother(but still in islam it is that privater matters of husband and wife be NOT discussed with anyone)....still mother and married sister are a way better opton than cousin n friends....
7)physical intimate relatiions are a natural human behaviour and not a complex algebric questions...its engraved into you by nature so not to deny it...and be done in halal manner that is with husband...
8)sex with husband has its reward ..... you are obliged to respond to him..
lastly only for your satisfaction tell me.....if its soo painful why is there sooo much illegal activities going in world???? why people do it for pleasure....
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| Veer |
Group: Moderators
Joined: 09th Aug, 2007
Topic: 83
Post: 3957
Age: 26
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| Posted on:29th Oct 2009, 1:51pm |
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sadaf_cool sex ka matlab pain nehin hai.yeh kuch jahil aurto ne hawa banayi hoi hai ke sex kare ge 1st night ko to bhut pain ho gi jab ke esa kuch bhi nehin hai
sex ka matlab hai enjoy karna.sex esi cheez hai to Allah ne insaan ko enjoy karne ke liye ata ki hai.
aap apni pain ko feel kar rehi hai lekin jo aap ke husband ko pain ho rehi hai ose feel nehin kar rehi.jo os ko bura lag raha hai woh feel nehin kar rehi.jis ka natija aak din bhut bura bhi ho sakta hai.
aap onhe inkaar pe inkaar karti rehi to woh aak din aap se nafrat karne lag jaye ga.phir ho sakta hai woh apni kisi aur ladki ke sath bhi mou mare.
baki aap ko sab members ne qurani hawale de diye hain.aap onhe inkaar kar ke sirf on ko hurt he nehin kar rehi balke Allah ki taraf se aap ko gunha bhi ho raha hai.
husband k jo hakook hai woh onhe de.phir he Allah ki zaat aap se khosh ho gi.rehi baat pain ki pain nehin hoti.aap apni body ko lose rakhe.aur khud kuch na kare apne husband ko karne de.sirf aak baar ho giya tab phir aap ko bhi yaqeen ho jaye ga ke wake mein yeh enjoy hai na k pain. |
| aasagar |
Group: Members
Joined: 03rd Aug, 2009
Topic: 19
Post: 83
Age: 21
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| Posted on:29th Oct 2009, 1:52pm |
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bori bat ya to bohet he bori bat hay is tara to aap kai husband ap si door ho jay gai
or aap ka baray mein wrong be shoch chaktay hay means ki ho chakta hay ki ap nay sex kia ho jis ki waja si ap un si sex nahi kar rahy ya sab ap kai husband shoch chaktay hay
or ap guna be kar rahi hay plz asa mat karay or allah ka nam lai kar un si mubasrat karay ok |
| azad73 |
Group: Members
Joined: 25th Oct, 2008
Topic: 1
Post: 18
Age: 34
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| Posted on:29th Oct 2009, 2:33pm |
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waterr sis masha allah tabarak allah |
| sadaf_cool |
Group: Members
Joined: 29th Oct, 2009
Topic: 2
Post: 6
Age: 21
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| Posted on:29th Oct 2009, 3:05pm |
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I Wil TrY my Best
OK I will Try
but ab to wo muj sai boltai b nahi hain 2 days sai karnai ka
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| sadaf_cool |
Group: Members
Joined: 29th Oct, 2009
Topic: 2
Post: 6
Age: 21
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| Posted on:29th Oct 2009, 3:09pm |
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I Wil TrY my Best
OK I will Try
but ab to wo muj sai boltai b nahi hain 2 days sai karnai ka
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| TheRock |
Group: Members
Joined: 25th Aug, 2008
Topic: 19
Post: 580
Age: 25
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| Posted on:29th Oct 2009, 4:08pm |
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 @@@@sadaf_cool
yehi saza hai tmhari k tmhare husband tumse baat na karein jabi theik hoogi tum ghalti ka ehsas hogaaaa qk tumne Allah or Rasool k orders ko obey nahin kiyaa hai u knoww 10 days seee Farishtoon ki laanat hai tum per or u know jis WIFE ne apne HUSBAND ko khush nahin kiyaa QAYAMAT k din ASI AURAT KI TARF ALLAH DEKHAY GA B NAHIN
islyee full enjoy karoo apne husband k saath
in full naked position in every manner according to ur husband Wish
1. anal sex oral sex or sex in menses se apne husband ko rooksakhti hooo u have a right lkn iske ilawaaaa kuch b karne seee u dont have a right to stop ur husband okay |
| hasna |
Group: Members
Joined: 25th Apr, 2009
Topic: 28
Post: 494
Age: 23
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| Posted on:29th Oct 2009, 4:57pm |
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sadaf sis apne jo b kia apni friend ki bato me akr bht ghalat kia huda nahasta hubby ko time nhi daine ki wja se wo aur girls me dilchaspi laina start kr dy gy phir apki yhi friend apko tane dy gi k tumne hi time nhi dia...............kio k jb hubby ko ghr me skoon aur physical enjoyement nhi mily gi to wo aur kisi k pass jaye ga tb ap ko jo dil ko pain hoga kia wo qabile brdasht hojaye ga apse..............koi b pain nhi hota hai aur apky is behave se hubby ye b smjh skty he k ap unko like nhi krti huda nahasta kisi aur ko like...............apka image harab hoga jo b apki dost ne apko kha apne hubby ko btaye aur is qisam ki friends se dur rehna chahye na k shadi shuda zindgi me problums lani chahye................apne hubby se sulah kre aur usko hud per pura ehtyar dy aur unse 1st intercourse k liye sath cooperate b kre life ko enjoy kre na k kisi ki ghalt bato me akr apna ghr harab kre.................as a girl i advice u kisi ki ghalt soch aur ghalt bato me akr zindgi bhr k rishty ko kmtar nhi smjhiye ga hubby k liye skoon bne na k beskooni...............best of luck |
| System |
Group: Members
Joined: 04th Jun, 2008
Topic: 42
Post: 2021
Age: 28
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| Posted on:29th Oct 2009, 6:19pm |
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re hmmmmm aik hi din main itne sare replies to this thread aur sub members ne participate kia... aur baqi sab forum soona soona sa ha... hehehe
anyway i read hansa post.. Very good repy by Hansa.. |
| Syed_27 |
Group: Members
Joined: 29th Oct, 2009
Topic: 0
Post: 5
Age: 28
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| Posted on:29th Oct 2009, 9:52pm |
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If sex is painful than why people doit? If you think that sex is painful than why do girls as young as 14 in several countries start having sex? Girls enjoy sex 3 times more than a guy. First night you may want to use jelly or oil or somthing..do fore play first, May be try his fingure first and than move on...I think u have lack of sex knowledge. Remember sex is the best thing human biengs can have in their lives! Go ahead explore it and enjoy it! Screw ur friend who gave you bad suggestion! Remember ur friend may think u don't like him and that will cause trouble in ur married life! Act like little mature and don't listen to ur friend..If she is married ask her if she enjoys sex or not? She may lie to you and say no.. |
| sadaf_cool |
Group: Members
Joined: 29th Oct, 2009
Topic: 2
Post: 6
Age: 21
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| Posted on:30th Oct 2009, 5:11pm |
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THANKS
I have DONE IT Thanks to all off u
main bata nahi skti k muje ketna maza aya
Is enjoyment ko such friends ki waja sa late hogai
But finally main nai kar hi leya
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| System |
Group: Members
Joined: 04th Jun, 2008
Topic: 42
Post: 2021
Age: 28
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| Posted on:30th Oct 2009, 7:09pm |
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sadaf hahaha ab tum sadaf cool se sadaf hot jo jao ge... anyway mubarak ho.. if you have any further concerns.. do ask and dont hesitate.. |
| H/dr_Qasim |
Group: Members
Joined: 29th Nov, 2008
Topic: 116
Post: 2114
Age: 31
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| Posted on:31st Oct 2009, 7:38am |
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waterr very good reply , meah ny esi ley wedding nigh for dolhan waala thread start keya k wo tummam batin es meh discuss ho jayin or pher girls k leye about wedding night, sex relations sex relations in islam. husband wife rights, or wo tummam gult fehmiyaa discuss ke jayin or lurkiyoo k jo ek wedding night k bary meh bot sari gult fehmiyaa hoti hen wo khutam ki jayin ap k es ans sy mujy bot sary points mily hen very good reply
ap os thread meh b aa k reply kurin or butayin k es article meh keya keya batin add honi chaiye, |
| TheRock |
Group: Members
Joined: 25th Aug, 2008
Topic: 19
Post: 580
Age: 25
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| Posted on:31st Oct 2009, 8:28pm |
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@@@@@sadaf_cool CONGRATULATION FOR YOUR SUCCESSFUL LOVE MAKING !!!!!! :)
CHALOOO FORUM PER MITHAIIII BAAANTH DOOOO :p
OR koi prb ho to zaror discuss karnaaaa
ENJOY UR MARRIED SEXUAL LIFE WITH FULL OF PASSION ! |
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