Fiancee: My Engagment Has Been Broken

Asslaomoalukum

dear all

plz mujhy ek advise dain m decision nahi kar paa raha..

m living in dubai ,ek saal pehlay meri engegment huie thi pak se..mne abi tak us larki ko dekha nahi he laikn baatein ki he mobil pe or pix dekhi hein..larki bari piyaari he laikn us ki kuch aadtien sahi ne thi jese k m jo baat karon woh baatein apni maa ko butaati thi..kabhi kabhi jhagra hota tha piyaar m to woh b maa ko buta deti thi..mne us ko kaha tha k na butaao baatein out na karon hum doosre din theek hojaate hain laikn yeh baatein reh jaati hain sab k dimaag m..us ki maa fir humaare ghar fon karke kehti k ap ka larka meri beti se jhagra karta he ...us ko sumjhaain jubke aisi koi baat nahi thii..sab misunderstand kiya us larki ne...mne us ko boht sumjhaaya laikn woh her baar waada kari k ab nahi butaaongi laikn fir b butaadete thii...fir humaari relation ache nahi rahe fon pe..

ab m pak jaa raha hon kuch din pehlay mere baba un ke ghar gay shadi ki date fix karne k liye to larki ne munaa kar diya k m ap k bete se shadi nahi karsukti...marjoaangi laikn is insaan se shadi nahi karongi...

us k baad mere ghar waalon ne un se contact karna shor diya ..ab humaare ghar m us larki k liye koi respect nahi he..laikn ab tak un logon ne rishta nahi tora or naa hee hum logon ne...larki b baat nahi karti muj se na heem karta hon...

ab m kuch din m jaa raha hon pak chuti p...

ab ap mujhy butaain advise dien m kiya kron

Re.

Sab se pehlay tu mein yehi kahoon gi keh agar woh larki sab kuch apni ammi ko bata deti hai, tu is mein koi buri baat nahin hai, balkey meray nazdeek yeh bohat achi baat hai. Maan apni baiti ko ziada samajhti hai or woh ziada behtar guide kar sakti hai. Abhi aap ki sirf engagement hoi thi, aap us se koi aisi baat hi na karein jo kisi ko batanay mein aap ko awkward feel ho. Shaadi ke baad jo marzi baat cheet ho, agar larki samajhdar ho gi tu phir kisi ko nahin bataye gi. Hamari society mein aaj kal jo girl friend/boy friend ka silsila shoroo ho gaya hai, us ki waja sirf yehi hia k larkion apni mothers ko kuch batanay ki bajaye un se sab chupati hien.

Secondly, ab yeh sab mamla miss handle ho chuka hai tu aap us se clearly poochein ke kya waja hai jo woh aap se shaadi karna nahin chahti. Aap ko yeh bhi dekhna chahiye keh agar us larki ki aap ki family mein koi respect nahin tu us becahri ki zindagi kyon museebat mein dalnay ki koshish kartay hien. Aap ko in batoon per ghour karna chahiye. Sab se pehlay tu aap apnay aap ko dekhein ke aap ki kya feelings hein us k liye. Yeh na ho k aap shadi k baad us se sab badlay lein keh yeh baat kyon ammi ko batayi ya woh baat kyon batayi. Rishta tourna buri baat samjhi jaati hai lekin apni ya kisi or ki life kharab karna us se bhi buri baat hai. Aap yeh sab apnay parents or behan bhaion se bhi discuss karein or us larki se bhi. I wish keh koi acceptable rasta nikal aaye ga.

 Good Luck.

to seemi

ap ki advise mujhy kuch clearly samjh nahi aai q k ab baat boht aagy bar chuki he....sab mera wait ker rahe hain pakistan m k m aaon or faisla karon k ab kiya karna he...

larki pehlay boht sahi chal rahi thi mere sath 11 month sab kuch theek tha ab ek month pehaly yeh sab ho gaya he..

plz more advises??????

you hv to decide!

asa,

 bhai its aal on u, u hv to think k kya aap us k saath nibha ker skty hain k nai, 1st of all chk ur feelings for her, if u hv no feelings thn behter hay k jis terha us lerki ne intiate kiya hay k wo shaadi nai kerna chahti to u shud go for same,ager aap us ko like kerty hain and u think k u can change her later on, thn go for shaadi, but its all upto u, aap ki post se mjy ye feel howa hay k us lerki ki koi khaas feelings nai hian, may b us ne apny maa baap ki merzi ko maan k us time han ki ho or latr on she might hv change her mind based on ur relation, so i will segest you k aap pak jain or ja k sb se pehly apny dil ki feelings gher waloun ko btain if there is no presuure from thm to... thn aap direct us lerki se pochaain k u wna merry me or not bs jo wo kehy wo kerian...majbori k rishty nibhana bohat tough hota hay!!!!!

adnan3925

Adnan u already post this topic previously and i think its better for u continue previous post for getting usefull results and advices.

http://www.forum.noorclinic.com/thread.php?topic=4865

to agg

agg jee zindagi bari mushkil he ..m boht tens m hon...kal bar m gaya tha boht takleef ho rahi thi mujhy m boht roya fir boht saari sharaab b pee..

laikn sumjh m nahi aarha k kiya karon pakistan jaake...2 april ko flight ok he.

plz adivse

Adnan Uncle

adnan

Dear red chilli ne bilkul sahi baten ki hain....pehle to ap apni fiancee se ja k face to face mileyn aur un se discusiion kareyn k asal reason kia hai....unhen samjhayen agar wo phir bi na samjhen to apni mother se bat kereyn aur phir un k mashwaray se koi decision leyn....dil se nai balke dimagh se decision leyn...ye apki poori life ka sawal hai is liye khyal rakiye k kia kerna chahtay hain ap....

doosri bat dear its very sad k ap ne ek larki ki waja se sharaab pi....ap jantey hain k islam mein ye allow nai hai...anyways ab ap ne ek bar to ghalti ker li behter hai k ab ap Allah se toba kereyn aur ainda na piyen...aisa na ho k Allah apko kisi aur musibat mein daal dey....isliye ab ainda kabhi aisi herkat dobara na keryen....

Shah

Well Dear,

Not a much complicated issue, but completely depend what u been talking with her. If nothing unusually then our eastern culture than its ok otherwise u could be in fault as well. I know that we’v been so advance now but every individual has got its own values.

Just go there and see what's happening in your family and how they are gonna react if u marry her. But keep one thing in mind that she has already denied front of your father herself. This shows her boldness and now I don’t think that your father will accept her any more as her daughter in law because it’s a matter of respect for him and for her as well which she has already lost. (only if she is in fault)

Lastly think again if you can tie in long term relationship after all this drama.

Best of luck

adnan -

very nice reply by Red Chilli, ye sab batain ya to koi pyar karnay wala jaan sakta hai ya phir koi doctor.

adnan
aik musalmaan ko sharaab say bachna hi chahiye, is liye sab say pehlay sharab peena band kar do.... agar tumnay is larki ko apnay sharaab peenay ka bataya hai to phir wo larki sahi keh rahi hai k wo mar jaeygi par tumsay shadi nai karaygi... aur usay aisa hi kehna chahiye...
khud socho kia tum apni behan ki shadi kisi sharabi say karna pasand karo gay ??? definitely tumharay answer yehi hoga k NO.. to phir kisi aur ki behan ya beti say shadi karni hai to buray kaam chhor do. sharab zana juwa ye sab baray gunah hain.

agar tum wakaee shadi karna chahtey ho , tum samajhtay ho k ye larki tumharay sath chal sakti hai,, to usay kaho k mai sab buray kaam chhor donga, us say wada karo, Allah ki kasam kha kar usay yakeen dilanay ki koshish karo k tum ainda sharab nai peo gay... agar wo maan jaey to theek , warna usay bhool hi jao to acha hai,, aur tab tak shadi na karna jab tak buri adaton par kabu na paa lo.

to josh

nahi yaar us ko is baat ka pata nahi he k mne us ki waja se sharaab pee ya nahi pee...usl baat to yeh he k m peeta nahi hon laikn thore din pehly boht tens m tha to disco baar m chala gaya doston k sath..wahaan ksi ne pilaadi..wese mne sharaab kabh nahi pee first time pee buss...

ap ko larki se bat karni chaia

larki ne abi shadi se inkar kia ha enganment tori to nahi ha na.

phelay ap pakistan ja kr larki se khud bat karay agar wo ap ko seriously inkar kr deti ha to ap engangment tor dey phelay misunderstanding khatam karnay ki kokish karay phone pr bat karnay or samnay bat karnay me difference hota ha ho sakta ha ap ki engangment bach gay.

us k or apnay parents ko asal reason batain k sirf misunderstanding ho gai ha larki ko b samjanay ki kokish karay inshallah ap ki engagement bach gay gi.

now its up to u if u love her to ap us ko or apnay ghar walo ko mana k misunderstanding khatam kr saktay hain.

ap ye soachay agar ye sab shadi ke bad hota to phir ap kia kartay? ap us to chor detay ye samjatay. us ko apnay payar k yaqin delain sab thek ho gay ga.

or namaz phartay hain to istkhara b kr le Allah ap k samnay khud bethar rasta bana de ga.

istkhara karo

the best is istkhara karo.

Allah se guidess lo ap k dil khud thek ho gay ga ap notice karo gay k agar wo larki ap ki kismat me likhi ha to Allah sab halat ap ke favor me kr de ga larki ,ghar walay khud agree ho gay gay.

or agar wo ap ki kism,at me nahi to Allah ap ke dil se us k khayal khud he nikal gay ga or as a wife wo ap ko achi ni lagay gi.

agar ap namaz phartay ho 5 waqat to istkhara karo 2 nafal phar kr dua pharo intkharay ki. dekhana desision ap k samnay a gay ga.

agar ap ko istkharay ki dua chaia to i ll give u is k time period 3 din se le kr jb tak final decision nahi hota tb tak ha. ap ki marzi jitnay dil kar lo jb tak dil satisfy nahi hota kisi decision pr.

re adnan3925

main seemi se bilkul ittifaq nahi karta, q nahi karta? es ko main forum par explain nahi kar sakta q k es topic se hamare ghar k secrets jure hoie hain.

aap k problem ka eik bohot acha solution hai mere paas lekin main forum p nahi likh sakta

aap mere hotmail par contact kar le meri id mere profile main likhi hoie hai.

khush raho

Sunny007

to red chilli

dear sister red chilli

main b yahi chahta hoon k jitni information mere paas hain wo main apne doston k saath share kar sakoon.

lekin jaisa k main ne ooper wali post main mention kia hai k es topic se mere ghar k secrets joore houi hain es lie main open forum par discuss nahi kar sakta.

aur ye meri marzi hai main jaise chahoon apni id kisi ko doon.

umeed hai aap mere problem ko samaj gaie hongi.

Sunny007

plz help

plz more advises.

tomorrow i m going to pakistan

i need ur sugestion

adnan